Quite the year

Its almost been a year since J and I moved. I'm still single after two years, and very content. I tried the on line dating thing, cause lets face it where do you meet a man these days?  Lets just say that the men on these sites are worse or pretty much the same as the man I got rid of, so why get involved with that all over again! I am relaxed and happy living single, no BS to put up with, no lies to sort through every minute of every day..oh you just have no idea how free I feel.

J had a rough patch though. Anxiety due to bullying at school brought him to his knees. It became impossible for him to go to school just before Christmas break and as it progressed he was unable to go to the mall, movie theater or even the corner store with me.  It froze this life, leaving him only comfortable in our home and his room.

I reached out to mental health, but was told because he has aspergers they had no one trained to deal with him. No one in the whole province! I must admit, I got angry and told the woman he was having issues with anxiety, not something specifically related to aspergers, but that argument got me nowheres. I got on the internet and researched as much as I could find on anxiety, I tried what was suggested, but it was out of my reach to help him.
I then called the Dr who diagnosed him, and begged for help. He got in to see her within 2 weeks which was fantastic because she is booked a couple years in advance. After talking with him and seeing how paralyzed he had become, she prescribed fluoxetine 5mg liquid to start for two weeks then a 10mg capsule.  

After 2 weeks J was able to walk into the school alone, as far as the office to pick up his homework.  Might not sound like much, but it was a massive accomplishment! After another week, we met with the guidance counselor and set up a "get back to school" routine that J thought he could manage.  They were very accommodating, setting him pick how he wanted to integrate back.  J wanted to do two periods in the morning in the guidance room, for a week, then three periods the next week, and so on until he was up to five periods, then he would try to actually go back into his class room.  To my surprise after the first week in the guidance room, J decided to go back to his classroom.!

The medication had reduced his anxiety to the point that he felt comfortable enough to go back and interact with his classmates again, something that had become unbearable for two months, now was just a distant memory. He delt with the questions " where have you been", "how come you have been gone for so long" in his own way, a simple " if I tell you, I'll have to kill you" response, and it worked, they stopped asking.  The second week back to school he even attended a school dance. J got his life back.

The bullying seems to have stopped as well, even though I was vigilant before in asking about his day, now I've gotten more word specific and ask if he is having any problems with people bugging him, teasing him, or out right bullying him. If anyone is making him feel uncomfortable or making him feel anxious again. Being word specific is very important in dealing with a person with aspergers. It takes practice to get the right words to get them to tell you things they otherwise wouldn't disclose. It's an evolving process.

He is a much different child, outgoing, friendly, talkative and funny. The medication has brought out a side of him that has never been present before. He is social like I've not seen before. He has a confidence about him now, he talks about his future what he dreams of doing. He wants to be a police officer and has even looked up the college, how much it would cost and where he could live while attending.  He is only 12 and maybe he will change his mind the older he gets, but for him to be looking forward is a big thing.

Came across this today and it was a good read. http://countrydocblog.com/2014/04/28/autism-a-misunderstood-culture/

We moved!

I am so far behind again on my blog. The house sold in June, we took a horrible loss. We sold it for five thousand more than what we had paid, then we put twenty five thousand into the house with renovations...so it was a disappointment to say the least!  But they are a  nice young couple and it means I no longer have to have any contact with N!! That is soooo nice.
Then it was a two week close, so I was super rushed to find a place for JJ and I to live, get all the utilities changed over and then, oh yeah..pack!! I literally got the only place left on the market that I could afford to buy.  It is older, but has been remodeled with gyprocked walls new flooring and windows, so I snapped it up.

So how do you pack up a 3 bdrm bungalow with a basement to fit into a 2 bdrm mobile home? You sell and give a lot of stuff away.. I am still trying to unpack even today, as I just don't have the same storage here as at the house. My bedroom is still filled with three large chest high boxes and about 10 tote bins, 5 of which are filled with photographs. Every pic I have taken or have been given are in those totes. I have come to the conclusion that I should scan them all and put them on  disc's.  Luckily I don't have a bed, because I have no idea where it would go at this point..lol

As soon as we moved in, I had to get my  nieces husband J to put together some cupboards and install a counter top so I could unpack the kitchen stuff.  What was here for a kitchen was a  joke. A tiny piece of counter top, sink, another piece of counter top, a spot for my stove and then and even smaller counter top. 6 top cupboards, 1 drawer and 5 lower cupboards and no place for my fridge..lol  now I have a workable U shaped kitchen and everything unpacked nicely.  My second investment was a second a/c unit. I forgot how hot mobile homes get in our humid summers.

My body didn't throw me too many curves, I knew that packing and added stress would make me sore, and it did, but on the up side, I also lost 15 pounds.  I'm hoping that the momentum continues because I really need to loose about 35 more pounds to be at a much lower healthier weight.  JJ handled the move like a trooper, although he really is a lazy kid and hated to help me move a box..lol  such a typical 11 yr old I guess, but when pushed he did help out, especially when I would suddenly burst into tears, just so overwhelmed with doing everything myself..

He has a friend from school who lives the next street over and I am going to go speak to his mother and see if she wants to car pool the kids to school.  He really wants to keep going to the same middle school, and we are out of district now for that school, but can get special permission to go there as long as he is driven. It seems a waste of gas, for both of us to be driving our kids in separate cars all year long. She has an Suv type vehicle and I am really hating winter driving more and more as I get older, so I'm hoping  she will agree to do Nov-Mar and I will do Sept+Oct and Apr-June..good deal for her since she has a baby and won't have to get him up and dressed and strapped into a car seat every day.  Its only for two school yrs, after that they can take the bus to the only high school for our area.

Moving schools is so hard on kids with Aspergers, unable to make friends easily it is so stressful for them and that is something I would like to avoid if possible. He has his 2-3 friends at this middle school already so it would be best to keep him there.

Well, I should get back to unpacking another box or two today, they sure aren't going to do it by themselves.. where are those little elves when you need them?  Bye for now

Hartz almost killed Dora!

JJ's cat is Dora, she is a 6 yr.old spca rescue cat and we love her, even the dog. I noticed that she was scratching and since flea season is upon us, I got the Hartz ultra guard pro flea/tick drops out of the closet and applied to the area between her shoulder blades,as directed.  JJ and I went out to run some errands and when we came back he went down stairs to get the laundry for me and started yelling that Dora was thrashing around on the floor. I picked her up and she was frothy at the mouth, having a seizure and limp. I thought she was dying before our eyes.

I wrapped her in a warm towel and called the Vet. Since it was after hours, I had to wait for them to call me back. I grabbed my phone and shot a short video in case she died I could show the Vet what had happened to her.

She had violent seizures and horrible muscle tremors and spent 3 days in the vet hospital. They couldn't tell me if she would survive, but they would try to save her.  I'm happy to say she did live, and a week has passed and she can now jump,and acting normal, and I know she's ok, cause she is ignoring me once again..lol

I did some searching on the web and have found hundreds of pets who have died,thousands who have been burned by the products or like Dora were poisoned and suffered. I'm asking you all to share the word with everyone you know so they dont use Hartz products on their beloved pets!  How they can continue to see this product is beyond me! But its cruelty at its highest form.

Lifes unexpected turns

Since my last post in August so  much has changed for JJ and I. My relationship with N was falling apart over the last two years. I put on a happy face and tried to make it work, but the damage he had done was not something that could be repaired. Especially when he refused to go for counseling.

I had discovered that he was having "hook up" sex with anyone and everyone he could, most of this happening while he was suppose to be working.  That revelation opened up the flood gates of "now that's the reason why" moments.  He was always secretive, never revealed anything about himself and generally a non talker.  This can now be explained, because if he didn't talk then he couldn't get caught in  any lies.  

Omission is the same as lying.

 I discovered that he has no conscience, no moral compass and honestly thinks its acceptable to have sex with either sex outside of a relationship. AS long as it makes him happy..kind of like a 16 yr old boy..he never grew up to act like a man.

When we first started dating he had a profile on a dating site and it was listed under "long term,dating,intimate encounter".  When I asked about it, he said he clicked on the wrong setting and didn't know how to change it.  Yeah, I believed it but it stuck in the back of my mind.  
He would leave our dates early,(because I wouldn't have sex right away with him) so he would leave at like 9pm and say he was going home.  I called a couple of times, but he wasn't answering the phone, so where was he...not the excuses he gave me, but now I know he was meeting someone from the hook up sex sites.

Two months  into to our relationship and he had given me a sexually transmitted disease.  He told me so I could get treated, and I should of ended the relationship right then... man was I stupid!  He had his "hockey and golf time", which I was not invited to be involved in.  That was his "guy" time.  Well, guy time equals cheating time, something that he had been doing for over 25 years.  His lifestyle was very selfish, something that kept eating at me and eroding away at our relationship.

Now after almost 11 years in this relationship with N, I had enough.  He went away on a "golf" trip and when he came back home 3 days later, I told him to move out.  It was a decision I had been trying to make for two years.  Not working and having a child with a disability to look after was weighing on my mind.  But being with someone who makes you feel alone 24/7 can't be any worse than actually being alone.  I was a strong woman, who had raised two daughters on my own, so I knew with the right mind set, I could raise JJ on my own as well.

So after pushing N to go look at apartments for almost a week  that I had looked up for him, he came home one night and said he rented an apartment.  Personally I think he moved right in with someone, because even his phone number is under someone elses name...but I'm not surprised by that.  He was only separated from his first wife a month and a half when he moved in with me.  He doesn't know how to do anything for himself, so moving in with someone so they can cook, clean and do his laundry... is his pattern. I never got invited to his place when we were dating, I got to see it for the first time when he sold it and wanted to move some pieces of furniture in to my place. His home was a complete dump!

So when I asked him to move out,I wrote up a list and we split the pots pans, utensils.. pretty much everything. I lost out when it came to furniture, of which I paid half of everything. He took my hospital bed and beautiful metal frame,because he needed something to have sex on, I told him I wanted it back when he bought a regular bed so I would have something to sleep on. For now I sleep in the recliner. I bought a sofa and recliner, scrounged up a table and chairs. I got to keep jj's bedroom stuff and my dresser!

JJ was upset by the changes, which I expected to happen.  He cried when his papa moved out, and the first time he saw him again after, he cried again in the privacy of his room.  Overall, he took it much better than I thought he would.  I was prepared for a few melt downs, some behaviour problems, but I guess by me staying calm and non chalant about the split up, it helped JJ. 

I tried to sell the house from September until last month with out an agent, but then decided to list the house so we can split the proceeds and JJ and I can move on with a new home and a new life.  Now that its March, the market will start to pick up and I am hoping that it sells fast.

All the stress has cause me to flair a bit and my blood pressure is up quite high, thankfully its not a full blown flair and I am monitoring the blood pressure daily.  I did go to the Dr. and get tested for every possible sexually transmitted disease plus hepatitis and HIV.  Luckily all the tests were negative. So I do know that once the house sells, and JJ and I are all settled into a new place my health will go back into calm mode.  For now, I take each day as it comes.

Have I learned its imperative to listen to my gutt... you bet.  Do I feel that I wasted 11 years..yes but its no big deal, he isn't worth thinking about all the what if's.... he is someone elses problem now and they can have him ,although I do feel sorry for them. I just know  I'm strong, I will come out ahead!

What happened to August?

I'm really not sure where August went...I woke up today and it was September!  Its safe to say that the month was pretty uneventful. JJ was having a few emotional days, frustration over a game on his computer I think.  He rarely cries, but can get mad pretty easy, three days last week he started crying. It took me by surprise and I had to mute the tv to make sure it was actually him and not the game he was on.  But low and behold, it was him. I went to his room to ask him what was wrong and he got all embarrassed and said he was "fine"!  I tried to dig further to find out what had caused the tears..but he wouldn't share. 

I wasn't shocked by that, aspie kids rarely share their emotions or causes of them. I have found in the past that if I asked a lot of questions I could sometimes find out what his reason for an outburst was. And to be honest, his reason wouldn't make sense to me. Of course compassion for his feelings is number one, they need to be validated regardless if they make sense to me or not.  More often than not, he didn't know how to explain it so I never got an answer.

Aspergers is as confusing for me as it is for him sometimes.  I read as much as I can on the disorder, and still some of his behaviour and quirks amaze me. Even now 11 years later.

He starts middle school in 4 days. He missed the class tour in June with the rest of the gr.5 students from his elementary school, due to pink eye.  I had to wait until the 23rd to call the middle school and ask if he could get a tour to alleviate the first day jitters.  We went on the 24th and met with the guidance counsellor and he gave the both of us a look at the school.  It also turned out that he got to meet his new teacher, which was a bonus.  

She seems very nice and I managed to give her a quick run down on some of his quirks that she might encounter. My only concern is that he is in a double class, two gr.6 teachers and two classes in one large room. I don't know if he will be able to keep focused on his teacher or if he will be looking and listening to what's going on over on the other side of the room. If the subject his own teacher is teaching doesn't grab his attention I know he will wonder off.

The other teacher is a male, who told me he has a son with autism, so I know he will be an asset to JJ's teacher if he gets off track. I'm also hoping that a couple of his "friends" from last year that contributed to his getting in trouble are in a different class than he is.  I am really hoping that as he puts it he "makes some new friends and they are nerdy". lol   He is really excited about the new school especially when he saw they have a large computer lab and he can't wait to take the class. He is also going to try out for the school soccer team, I hope he gets picked because he loves soccer and it would do so much good for his self-esteem. So he is excited and I am a bit nervous.  Older kids can take such advantage of him and that is a worry of mine.  I know it will be a day at a time like last year was, making sure he stays on track and keeps in with good kids.

I hope all of you with children going back to school have a great first day! 

So this is July...

Summer has been warm, with quite a bit of rain mixed in,,and of course lets not forget our famous East Coast humidity. I'm not sure where June went , but it was over with before I knew it. JJ's done school and has taken his place in front of the lap top wanting to spend his waking hours there.  We did our yearly trip to Chrystal Palace and took along JJ's younger brother JC this time. They were fine together while they were going from one ride to another and playing the arcade games.  Unfortunately the car ride home was horrible. JJ kept getting louder and louder, all worked up. I repeatedly asked him to lower his voice and to calm down, but he wouldn't stop.  I ended up yelling at him, big time yell, and used the words "shut up" which I hate!!  He still wouldn't calm down, so I had to take his computer time away from him for two days after the loss of one day didn't make him stop either.  Of course then I got a full out crying fit from him and a "I hate you", the three most dreaded words any gr.mother wants to hear. The rest of the drive home, all 40 minutes of it was quiet, but it spoiled the ending to a pretty good day.


I had my dr's appointment with Rheumy this morning. No real concerns except for the weird muscle spasms. He said they "would happen" with Lupus and more frequently the older I got. My first thought was "oh great"!  I got my prescription refill and another appointment for January.  As soon as I got home I took a bad spasm in my left hand. My baby finger suddenly did this exorcist type thing where my knuckle disappeared and the tip when to the left while the rest of my finger went right. It honestly look like it was broken. My hubby saw it and his eyes got real big and he asked "what did you do to your finger?" to which I replied "absolutely nothing".. he had only heard about these spasms from me, and I was glad that he got to see what I was talking about.  Just to confirm that I wasn't totally a nut case.


After about ten minutes of rubbing my knuckle joint and my hand up towards my wrist, it went back to its normal shape.  If only it could of done this while I was in the dr's office. Next time I will grab my cell phone and take a video so I can show the dr. what it exactly looks like because I know my description just didn't do it justice.


I hope you all have a good month!

I smiled today...lol

I was looking for something and had to go through our infamous junk drawer.. and there it was.. I giggle now just writing about it.


A while back JJ got in trouble at school because he punched a girl, in the arm, not the face. She was in his face on the play ground, he told her to "back off", but she kept at him, he told her he was going to punch her. She told him he couldn't.


Asperger children don't like people being in their space .  To a child with Aspergers, if you say to them, "you can't punch me" to them, they hear you don't think they are strong enough to punch, that you don't think they are capable of do so.. not the reason "you can't punch me because I'm a girl"...lol  The logic of an Aspergers child.


So here are the 4 apologies I found in the drawer, you can see that as I continue to try to explain true logic and right/wrong to him after each apology he writes, they get different in tone and sincerity.


Dear_____ I am really sorry that I punched you. I punched you because you doubted me so that made me angry and then I punched you. But my grand parents had a talk to me and they say I will never do it again.


Dear______ I am super sorry that I punched you and I promise that what my grand parents have told me is it will never happen again.


Dear______I am deeply sorry that I punched you, but I told you not to make me angry. It has been dealt with at home so I can assure you that it won't ever happen again.


Dear _____I am deeply sorry that I didn't control my temper and I punched you. My grand parents had a really really really long talk with me and I now understand what you meant when you said "I couldn't punch you". I can't punch you, or anyone because its called assault and is illegal and not nice to do. I can assure you, that since doing something wrong like this means I loose my computer and tv, I won't be punching anyone ever, ever again.


I hope this brought a smile to your face today as well.. if you have a child with Aspergers..I'm sure it did because you can soooo relate.

Memories of years past

What an uneventful weekend..not that I mean that in a bad way.  If you deal with an Aspie child, you fully understand my statement.  Its great not to have any major problems.  Its such a joy to wake up Saturday morning and cook JJ's favorite breakfast, bacon and eggs and have a clam eating experience.  Of course you could cut out the eggs and just give him all bacon and he would like it even more..lol


We went to pick up a couple of things today while he went to visit his parents and younger brothers. As N and I were going into wal-mart a father was carrying out a screaming child, around 4yrs old I would guess. N and I looked at each other with that OMG how many times was that us over the years! It took me back to those memories that I don't like to revisit. The public melt downs were always the worst to experience. Not so much that people didn't understand, but that they were staring..like we had done something wrong. Or even worse that we were bad parents! How many times did I hear people mumble "he just needs a good swat on the ass", or "boys does he have discipline problems" or even worse still.."spoiled brat".


Those comments came from those who suspected that JJ was screaming at the top of his lungs because he couldn't get a toy or something that he wanted. The truth was, just the size of the store, the bright lights, the hum from the lights, all the people talking, the cold metal shopping cart.. it was sensory overload for JJ and he would melt down.  It wasn't his fault, and nothing we did would make the situation any better for him. He couldn't verbalize how he was feeling, and he didn't understand why he felt the way he did, toss in two gr.parents who were trying to learn as much as they could about what was wrong with him without any medical help and you had at times a complete disaster.


I don't miss the early years, but what I do wish is the calmness that we experience now could of been in his reach when he was younger so he could of had a happier childhood.  I often think about how terrorized he must of felt inside at 3 or 4 yrs of age, with all that his mind was saying to him. I think about how it would of been nice to sit down and read a book to him, tuck him into bed and have him get a good nights sleep. Instead he would be awake screaming in his bed with me sitting beside his bed crying until all hours of the early morning.  I think about how he never got the enjoyment of playing in a sand box with a bunch of dinky toys or trucks, because he didn't like the feel of sand and he had no interest in typical boy toys. I think about all the meals that consisted of me begging him to try a bite of this or that. Until I learned that he would only eat one specific food for months at a time and then switch to something else for extended periods.


Life with a special needs child is filled with learning, its a daily learning experience and it will never end. The thing is, we need to embrace it and go with it and know that it does get easier, it does get better, and its all done for the love of the child.  I love JJ and so glad that he has been a part of my life.

A new room for JJ

Where has the school yr gone to?!  I say school yr and not year because my life is measured it seems, by the length of time is left before summer vacation starts. Right now there is just a little under one month left, then soccer time, pool time..and I'm sure lots of roblox time on the computer will hit our household.  There hasn't been a whole lot going on around here to be honest. JJ has had an extended period of not getting into trouble at school, and things here have been calm. I love these times.


I also got notice that JJ's disability paperwork has finally gone thru the Gov and I got a check three weeks ago. Since its "his money" in my mind, I got him to look at furniture and then bought him a complete new bedroom set.  He is almost 12 and has old everything, from bed to an old antique dresser that belonged to N's gr.parents. I then set about painting the spare room his favorite colour orange, with some pretty nice navy blue stripes (if I don't say so myself) on one wall to break it all up a bit.  I did it during the day while he was at school and left the door closed so he had no idea what surprise I had instore for him in there. This room is a little bigger than his current room and the new bed will look better on a side wall than the way his current bed is sitting in his room now. He was so excited that I painted for him, and super excited when he saw it finished..to which he exclaimed "I guess I better like the colour orange for a long while huh?! lol


It was a painful experience for me since my joints just don't like me doing anything. But with the help of some Tylenol every 4-6 hrs I got it accomplished in a week. The furniture arrived, and then the horrible task of trying to get N in the mood to put it all together..lol  Of course with JJ asking each day when he would get "around to" putting his bed together really helped..lol  But papa got it together for him in a weeks time, its a beautiful set consisting of a loft bed sitting on top of a desk on one end with a built in light over head and a drawer for all his "diary books" and a book case with two drawers on the other end and of course his favorite part is the open part in the middle where he can sit and play under his bed. It really is the perfect bed for a boy. I also went out and bought him a 24" flat screen tv and wall mount so he can lay in bed and watch tv and chill out before bed. The hard part was finding a comforter that had orange but wasn't girly with flowers all over it. I did manage to find THE ONLY orange mixed coloured comforter in town! And it looks really good.
It was nice to see that illusive smile on his face when he got to spend his first night sleeping in there. Of course the dresser is still in its crate and not put together yet, but I'm sure with JJ asking him every day it will get done this weekend after golf, of course.


I left his old bed and dressers in his old room and will now use that for the spare guest room and where our cat Dora now likes to curl up on the bed and have a mid afternoon snooze.

Well I should run for now, JJ is due home from school and I really want to run out to Walmart. I hope he is in the mood to go since I didn't mention to him this morning that we had to go out shopping after school and, well, as I have said before..Aspie kids don't like things sprung on them. Wish me luck!

Frustrated with school

Today didn't start off too well.  N drove JJ to school because it was pouring rain.  He walks into the school and the vice principle asks him where his glasses were.  JJ replied that he had forgotten them at home, to which the vice principle told him to go home and get them to save "Nannie a trip bringing them to school for you".


So off he goes drudging back home rings the door bell, waking me up since it was one of my "can't sleep nights".  When I open the door, there he is dripping wet.  Coat was soaked through, feet were squishing wet as well.  I was so pissed!!  What is the sense of giving him a drive to keep him dry to have the VP send him home?!  Maybe he was trying to get him to be more responsible to remember his glasses, or his book bag, or like last week his bike helmet. But this is a child who has a memory like a sieve when it comes to things like this.  Its part of his disability, if it was a fact about the world wars, or something else that has meaning to him..then he would remember. But Aspie kids are famous for not giving a rats behind about little things like glasses or book bags.  Now some of you would say "why didn't he have on a rain coat and rubber boots". Well for those of you who don't know, Aspie kids have texture issues with clothing.  JJ doesn't like the feel of the rubber rain coats and hates rubber boots with a passion..I have tried to get him to wear them, but they just get passed along to his younger brothers. Life with an Aspie is not that simple, its very complex.


Personally I think that the VP just doesn't get it.  I think it has gotten to the point now that he is just picking on JJ and I am really frustrated.  I got him to change his t-shirt, put another coat and sneakers on and I drove him back to school with a note to hand to the VP telling him NOT to send JJ home again in the pouring rain again if he forgets something because it doesn't "save me a trip".


I wish that all teachers, principles, VP included need to take a course on ASD kids,, it wouldn't take more than one day to run through some of the most common things that these kids have in common and how to handle the quirks they have. A couple of parents could put together some material for them to read, but you know what.. the majority of teachers hate parents telling them how to handle their child. I have run across this time and time again.  There just is not enough people caring about these kids and its frustrating the shit out of me lately!


So go the battle... two more months of school...

Please vote for JJ's bottle picture!

This is my 10 yr old gr.son Jacob. He has Aspergers Syndrome. There isn't a lot that will bring a smile to his face and he hates having his pic taken. So I was really shocked when he came out to the living room and asked me to take his pic with the bottle of Jones Soda and the green apple. He loves your soda pop and asks for me to buy some every grocery day. Of course I do..lol He has had a really rough year at school because of bullies and this would make him so happy to be on a label.

Please vote if you haven't already, competition is stiff. There is nothing to sign up for, you don't even need to give your email and you can only vote ONE time. PLEASE help my gr.son WIN and vote for JJ's picture! Click this link, click on the "rate this photo" section pick "10..wow" and then click "vote" underneath. It will just take a minute of your time and will make him a very happy boy. Lets make him a winner by getting on the pop label !!!!!!! TY

Just click this link  *  Jones Gallery: Submit your photo to Jones Soda | Jones Soda Co.   *

What makes him happy, makes me happy

I remember JJ's teacher making the comment, "he never seems happy".  I told her that was common for a child with ASD. After all I explained, they are restricted in their emotions to angry or sad and because their interests are also markedly restricted if they aren't doing something they love, you won't see them happy.

For people who aren't around children with ASD, they won't pick up the subtle changes in their reactions to different things. Like going grocery shopping is a horrible task to JJ, he will drag his feet all through the store and  thinks its a waste of time, although he knows we need to buy the food if we are going to eat in the coming week. lol  But if you tell him he has two hours on the computer he will race into his room and turn on the laptop before I can blink an eye.  That is JJ happy.  He loves his laptop, in fact the only time I have seen him happy enough to cry was the day we gave it to him. I will try to put the video on cause it really is touching.  His desktop computer had died the week before, and he was using my laptop in the video. He asked if he could save something, and I had said "no", he then says "how come" and I replied "because you will be able to save it on your own" and his Papa brings out the laptop from behind his back.  That was one happy child,  just for a few minutes..but it did my heart good to see that happiness flow down his cheeks.

.
When you deal with a child with ASD you need to take those moments and treasure them.  The only other time I get to see him smile and look happy is when we go to an indoor amusement center a couple hours away from our home town.  We have taken him every year for the past 4 years and he spends the day ridding the roller coaster and bumper cars. N and I sit on the bench and watch as he runs to get the back seat on the roller coaster before someone else does.  He loves going, and I am hoping next year we can take him to 6 flags in Montreal and let him see what a big amusement park is like.  I know it will blow his mind.

Take the small moments where you can find them, they are so few and far between, but worth it!

Oh Winter how I hate you

I do hate winters. My fingers and toes get so cold I loose the feeling in them, of course this also happens to my fingers if I take something out of the freezer too. Its caused from Raynauds syndrome which can go along with Lupus..
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/raynauds-disease/DS00433 


Its a pain in the butt but ya know what there isn't anything to do about it but to keep some warm mitts handy and to try to find some warm socks. But I must say we have had a really good winter here on the East Coast of Canada. We have only had a little snow and one day so far that was -27 and I stayed inside all day. Hubby dropped of JJ to school so I didn't even have to keep my fingers crossed that my car would start..lol


This month has been terrible for JJ at school again! He was pushed by his bully on the play ground and hit his head on the ice, fell off the climbing wall in gym and hit his head and passed out in class and hit his head.. all in the same day! Needless to say he ended up with a concussion and was home from school for a week and then when he got back to school the next week it was no outside time or gym just to keep him safe. I had a big meeting with the principle, vice principle and teachers to see if I could give them some clues as to how to better extract information from JJ when things like this happen.   I say extract because thats what you have to do with a kid with ASD, its like drawing it out one clue at a time.  Aspie kids answer your questions with a direct honest answer. But if you don't ask the right questions you don't get the whole picture or the whole answer. Like when he fell off the climbing wall, he was crying and when his teacher asked him what happened he said "I fell off the wall" he didn't say "I fell off the wall and hit my head" so the teacher should of asked "did you hurt anything" and he would of told them.  When he was pushed in the yard, the same thing happened..he told the teacher that "so and so pushed me and I fell" the teacher didn't ask if he got hurt so he didn't tell her that he hit his head on the ice and had a really bad headache.  


The worse part is no one from the school called me, so I didn't know all this had taken place. When he got up the next morning which was Saturday, he said he was "dizzy again and felt sick to his stomach..just like in school yesterday".  Hold your horses, what do you mean like yesterday?  So I had to extract step by step what had happened at school Friday. That's when I got the whole story about how he had hit his head three times and that his eyes were blurry and he had a headache.  Off to the ER we go.


With his symptoms we got in within 15 minutes and not our usual 12 hour wait! He was diagnosed with a concussion and told to stay quiet for a week and then limited play the following week when he went back to school.  I wrote an email to the principle Saturday afternoon when we got back home and she replied promptly Monday when she got it. The meeting was set up for Wednesday and it went well, well as well as can be expected I guess.  I did let them know that once again I was disappointed that his bully is not being dealt with strongly enough and that I wasn't contacted by anyone about him getting injured on their watch. My theory is that they are just biding their time with this bully because he will be out of their school come June and not their problem anymore.


Now fast forward to the end of February, and he gets in trouble for slapping a girl across the face. This girl I think has a crush on him. He still thinks girls are gross and she continues to chase him, push him, get in his face. Getting in his face is the worse. Aspie kids like their space, getting too close is a no no. He has told her to leave him alone, every day he tells her that according to JJ. And yet she just continues to bug him hunting him down the minute they go outside.


Well Monday, she pushed him down in the play ground twice and took his hat, ran away and buried it in the snow. He did as I told him, he walked away from her. When they got in side the classroom she said something about him to some other kids and he got mad and slapped her. It was his final straw he said. 


The vice principle called and told me what had happened. I should of asked to speak to him, and gotten the whole story right then on the phone,because he didn't tell them what had happened out in the yard, only that he slapped her because she had said something about him to the other kids.  He of course got detention at school and I took his computer and phone time away from him as punishment here at home. When I asked the right questions I got the full story of how much she is bugging him/pushing him around etc.  After telling him again that "you can't hit anyone especially a girl" he says "so some girl can do what she wants to me and I can't do anything back"? How do you answer that to a kid who is a logical fanatic? Its so hard to make that logical.  I just had to tell him that hitting anyone is called assault and its against the law, and that goes for girls hitting boys too. He wanted to know when she would be arrested...


I am still saddened by the fact that my gr.son has learned to hit, push, slap...all at this school in the run of a year and a half.  He still asks to go back to his "old school" where he was safe.  How sad is that! 


He is off to middle school next school year, I am so keeping my fingers crossed that his bully doesn't track him down and that there will be enough different kids there that his bully will be put in his place. By that I mean that this boy thinks he is the cock of the walk because he has gone to this school from gr 1-5 and thinks he owns the school yard. He has a following of three other boys who do what ever he tells them to, his little posse.  At middle school he won't be the big shot, he will be a gr. 6 er just like all the rest of them entering middle  school.  I also am going to see if I can get JJ interested in something at school to keep him out of trouble. Maybe computer class or some sport.  The whole idea of middle school is scarring me.  The only thing he is worried about is having to take "health class".... lol  Oh how I wish that will be our only thing to worry about.

Use you head people!

Lately I have seen people writing about how they don't want to vaccinate their children. Facebook and blogs on the internet are spewing this garbage out there to the vulnerable, the easily swayed. 


To be honest this really makes my blood boil. These people are so misguided on what the role of the vaccines is, how they help keep us all safe and have bought into the "Hollywood hype" that vaccines cause ASD or what ever their child has been diagnosed with. They are written by people with NO health care backgrounds, they are not Nurses , Dr's or scientists and can only site blogs as their so called "information sources".  When confronted they are not even willing to allow a posted comment by a "pro-vaccine" person.  They are afraid their "following" will read another person's view and no long buy their misinformation as "fact". Their facts are nothing more than twisted facts with important information left out changing the whole context.  They prey on infusing fear into parents.


My thoughts and personal experience is this... 
The reason we are once again having outbreaks of measles, pertussis and whooping cough etc, is because people are NOT getting their children vaccinated like they should. Thus diseases that have been out of regular circulation for generations are making a come back and putting us all at risk. The diseases we are being protected from in the form of vaccines, are dangerous and kill when your not vaccinated. Here is some information on measles, which some think is not a dangerous disease but an inconvenient childhood illness. http://www.who.int/mediacentre/factsheets/fs286/en/ or
http://www.cdc.gov/measles/about/overview.html


Our immune system is put into action by getting the vaccines.  They don't cure us from the disease, they boost our immune systems so our bodies build the immunity necessary to fight the disease. I do not go for the "Hollywood hype" that has been spread over the years that autism has anything to do with vaccinations.  Since I am guardian to a gr.son with ASD, I can personally tell you that he born with it.  The signs were there from infancy. Anyone who has a child diagnosed with ASD of any form/degree, and is willing to do some reputable research.. really look/take notice, and most of all be honest with themselves,, will tell you that the symptoms/signs of the disease were there long before the vaccines were given to him/her.  But it does take guts to admit that its a genetic disorder and not blame vaccines.


People want to be able to lay blame to "something" instead of looking at the fact that there are genetic components causing this.  Its easier for them to handle the diagnosis if they can blame "something", sue over "something" instead of knowing they have a genetic flaw, their parents carried that flaw, their gr.parents. Over many generations the flaw has become more pronounced.  Heck in our family alone, we have the Lupus gene, heart disease, diabetes, OCD, ADD... I could go on and on.  All these passed from generation to generation getting worse or mutating within each generation as we procreate with others that have "gawd knows what flaws" on their side.  


I saw a news show that did a study where 2 or more children in the same family had ASD. The first child had been immunized, the parents held off any vaccines for their subsequent children buying into the theory that the vaccines were the cause. The other "non vaccinated" children were also diagnosed ASD despite this. How does this not speak volumes to the validity of that theory?  Those that turn a blind eye to scientific proof do so because those parents do not want to admit their own genetic code, DNA is flawed and to blame. They simply can not handle the truth. 
http://www.hhmi.org/annualreport2011/year-in-science/insights-into-the-autism-spectrum.html?gclid=CP6VxaH_m68CFcJM4Aod-QMAbQ
http://www.cdc.gov/ncbddd/autism/data.html
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Heritability_of_autism
http://www.usatoday.com/yourlife/health/medical/autism/2010-10-22-autism-siblings_N.htm


To be honest I am surprised that ASD didn't raise its head earlier in our family... but it did, and we deal with it.  I would never advocate for anyone to stop getting vaccines.  The diseases that mutate now and come in from other countries are far worse than anything we have seen to date and will only get worse as years go by.  


People who are buying into the notion that vaccines are causing their children harm are misinformed...but lets go with their theory for just one second. If vaccines cause ASD or anything else these zealots are spewing, would we not all have ASD, or being more liberal..at least one out of every two people?  And this is just not the case.


We have all been vaccinated as children, billions of vaccines have been used since 1718,and they were responsible for stamping out typhoid,smallpox etc. They are keeping us safe and have kept us safe for almost 300 years.  The fast food and processed food that is set on the dinner table or at the drive thru's are a much bigger crime in my books than vaccines. Yet parents who have sworn off vaccines are willing to feed their children this garbage. Why?


People who do not get their children vaccinated are putting your children and my gr.children at rick.  Many of the diseases that the vaccines have helped control are showing back up because of people not using these valuable vaccines, how scary is that? 
http://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/vac-gen/whatifstop.htm


Do you know if the child sitting next to yours in daycare/school has been vaccinated? Are you willing to risk your child's health/well being, their life even, not to ask that question?


As a person with Lupus, if your child is not vaccinated and contracts measles for example and I happen to be in contact with your child or touched a surface he/she just cough all over..your child can kill me. Plain and simple. Something like that will send my compromised immune system into a tail spin. It will cause my own body to attack itself, causing my organs to shut down.  


Those who choose not to immunize are putting us all at high risk.  There are apparently some Dr.'s who are now asking patients who do not immunize to leave their practice, I for one don't blame them.  The Dr's code is first and foremost to "do no harm', if they condone these patients who don't immunize, then they are in fact doing harm,, to the general population as a whole. And I stand behind their decision to dismiss those patients 100%.


The scientific proof that vaccines/immunizations are helpful and safe outweigh the twisted information that is going around facebook and in personal blogs.  Please do your research and keep us all safe.

School woo's

During the past few weeks school has gotten difficult for JJ.  Not the actual school work, but the social aspects of it.  He is being bullied at school and nothing is being done when that happens.  Because of that he has gotten into trouble for doing back to the kids what they are doing to him.  What a viscous circle.  

Last week almost every day he came home telling me that such and such had hit him or kicked him or pushed him down and this last time it really hurt his butt.  I asked if he reported this to the "on duty" yard teacher at the time, he said yes, but it never got back to the office... nothing was done.  Three weeks ago I got a call from the vice principle that JJ had held a boy while another boy hit the boy JJ was holding. I was horrified.  JJ had never gotten in trouble at all before!  He was grounded from the school recess and lunch time play for a week and had to write a letter to apologize to the boy, who as it turns out has Aspergers/Autism.  JJ says the boy has been picking on him by coming up behind him and yelling in his ear then running away.  Loud noise drives JJ crazy.  Its just one of those quirky traits of Aspergers. So when the known school bully offered to hit him for JJ, he went along with it, not thinking of the consequences.  When he got home from school he was grounded from the computer (his fav thing to do) and his DS was taken away as well for a week.  I talked to him about how its wrong to put his hands on anyone, and he was just as guilty of hurting the boy as the boy who actually did the hitting.  I thought I had gotten thru to him.

Yesterday the vice principle called to say JJ had hit a girl, it started by the girls chasing the boys around the yard, then they were bantering back and forth verbally and next thing he knew JJ had hit the girl in the chest with his hand.  When the vprinciple had asked JJ why he hit her, he replied that the girl said he "couldn't" hit her, and that she doubted him.. so he showed her that he "could" hit her. 

That is called Aspie logic.  They have to prove themselves, or feel internalize that they do.  It wasn't her logic that "you can't hit girls" it was his logic that "you can't tell me I can't do something when I know I can do it".   I tried to explain that you don't hit,kick,touch people no way, no how. And he just keeps repeating "but she doubted me, I had to show her I could".  I grounded him from the computer and DS again, I have talked to him about how the school has a "no hands/no touch" policy and he has to abide by it.  I have promised him  that when he comes home and tells me he has been picked on again, I will immediately call the school and check to see if the "on duty" teacher reported it to the office.  The vprinciple asked me if he had Aspergers, that he has noticed some things that lead him to believe that he has it.  I told him yes, and that I thought the other kids were also "picking up" on the quirks and notice he is different and thats why they are picking on him.  He suggested that for the week detention JJ will have to do, he will talk to him and go over different scenarios with him and what his reaction would be.  He will also try to check with him daily to see if he has reported any bullying and if it has been dealt with.

At his old school, they had a 10 min assembly every morning to go over the school rules on bullying, this school doesn't.  I told the vprinciple I wasn't very pleased with the schools handling of this type of behaviour and hoped it would get better because so far JJ hasn't had a very good experience there this year.  He finally makes an effort to try to be social, to have some friends and he is picking the wrong kids to hand out with and is getting picked on himself.  He also is missing the social cues he needs and the judgement to know when someone says or does something that he might think is cool, when it really isn't appropriate.

I am hoping that I can get thru to him on what is good behavior and what isn't and that he keeps his hands to himself... its a constant struggle on some level every day.

School break update

JJ is on his second week back to school and so far so good.  He mentioned this morning that he is having a problem with a 5th grader being a bully to him on the play ground (all over who's snow hill it is) he says he has reported it to the teachers and nothing has been done. I guess I will have to go see the principle and get that worked out.  I find he has told me a couple of times that kids telling him they don't like him lately. I know how controlling he can be with friends, how he wants to play something "his" way all the time and when he is playing with kids his own age or a yr older, that type of control just doesn't work.  

I guess thats why most aspie kids tend to gravitate towards younger children to socialize with.  Writing this just made me think of our last two trips to Chrystal Palace during the summer holidays.  Both times he picked kids to ride the roller coaster with, they would get off and run for the front of the line to go again for 2 hours straight.  We watched, along with the other boys parents, we got talking about how well they were getting along.. turns out last yr and the yr before the child he picked to spend the day going on rides with.. both had ASD of one type or another.  One was autistic and not very verbal, the other had aspergers like JJ and more verbal.  I found it fascinating that out of all the kids there, he picked these two boys, was it just a coincidence or did he somehow feel by watching them, that they were similar to him?

Over this past Christmas holiday 2wk break it couldn't have gone better.  If you hear a note of surprise in my voice, your right.  Usually breaks and summer holidays are a nightmare for us, and I have been known to totally dread the words "snow day".  I have in the past had to use a schedule to get us through it because aspie kids need strict structure.  For some reason, he was calm, happy and content with out a schedule.  He played, read, and played his club penguin and roblox games on the computer.  I even said it out loud to my hubby that its been a month or more since it was daily meltdowns of some sort.  I was afraid to jinx it by saying it out loud, but I only said it to hubby not to JJ.  The last time I said to JJ something to the effect that he had been controlling himself very well, it all went to hell in a hand basket, so I've learned not to.  Instead to give him positive reinforcement I will hug him and tell him I love him more than usual which will get me an "oh Nannie" lol  and if I have the extra $20 as a special treat, I will buy him a game for the wii or ds, but since money is tight..that doesn't happen very often.  Since the household has been calm and meltdown free lately I feel less stress so that is a bonus for sure.

This past weekend they had an "elementary school" hockey night with the university team, that ment sections of the Arena was reserved for students from all the south side elementary schools and their parents.  We went and he had so much fun. Usually he will take his ds and play it while N and I watch the game.  This time he saw the boy from next door sitting behind us and we let him go sit with him and 3 other boys from his school.  He got to go to the canteen alone with them and was just smiling ear to ear all night long.  It felt good to see him having fun with kids his own age.  

I have found that each year he matures a little and is getting to manage himself better. I just hope it continues!

Mundane Monday

Gosh its been a long time since I blogged. In all honesty I had to do some soul searching and reading back over them realized that I was getting really depressed and it became too much to continue.  The break was much needed and although I can't say that I'm totally out from under the dark cloud, I am feeling a bit better, less stressed and aware of what the later part of 2010 was for me emotionally.

Having to look after a special needs child can be depressing in itself on good days. Add to that all the daily things that can consume us, well it really can be overwhelming.  Since I have stopped blogging I have been sick and on antibiotics 3 different times.  Two lung infections that JJ brought home from school as simple colds turned on me like an elephant sitting on my chest.  Then I got a bladder infection and had to go on two rounds of antibiotics for that also.  I must say that the bladder infection for two weeks was the most painful thing, worse than labour.  The first 10days of antibiotics didn't work so I had to be perscribed something else for another 10 days. By the second week I got to the point where I stop drinking any fluids because I was afraid to have to go pee, it is beyond describing pain wise.  Living with an autoimmune disease really does suck.  I have been off antibiotics for almost two weeks and I am so hoping that when JJ goes back to school tomorrow he doesn't drag in some new virus for me to catch.

Winter so far has been mild, so mild we didn't have any snow on Christmas day at all.  Since then the coldest day has been around -14 with the wind chill and we now have around a foot of snow on the ground but all the roads are clear and the days are still mild. I have to say this is really unusual for the east coast of Canada and since I'm not a winter fan, I have enjoyed it so far.

Our Christmas was pretty good, but they aren't "family gatherings" anymore because there are people who are important in my life missing from the festivities. I put my tree up early, decorated the house and really made an effort to get some holiday cheer going. JJ doesn't really get excited until Christmas eve and Christmas day and I fear this year may have been the last for believing in "Santa".  But there was something missing I just couldn't deny. I miss my youngest daughter and two youngest gr.children so much this year it just isn't amusing any more.  I think this is the main vein to my depressed feelings.  I am missing out on all the little things, the day to day things that a gr.parent treasures with all their heart.  When I see little ones around the same age as D and E at the store or mall, I still, 6 months later, find my eyes welling up with tears.  I was looking forward to them coming home for a visit this coming September but now find out that isn't going to happen.  All I could do was cry.  My brother and sister-in-law went away again this Christmas on a cruise so they were missing too.  It just seems like since my parents have passed away, no one makes a real effort to stay together for the holidays. 

When I was raising my two girls I wanted to move back out west, I had fallen in love with the water and mountains and this didn't feel like home anymore.  I only stayed here because I couldn't take my children away from my parents, I couldn't deny them the right to see their gr.children grow up.  I knew that they wouldn't be around forever and it was important that they shared my childrens lives.  It was important that my girls knew who their gr.parents were, that they felt loved and surrounded by others who would make them feel valued and special and a part of a larger family unit than just me. It was important that they could take them for drives on Sundays, take them out to dinner or help them put up their Christmas tree, or go ring their door bell on Halloween. 

I know it was very important to my parents, I know that they appreciated that I put my life on hold so they could share the lives of their gr.children.  Somehow I missed instilling some of those feelings and values to my daughters and I'm not getting to enjoy the gr.children like I so long to and my heart aches.  Its the younger years that really matter, when they get older I will be nothing more than an old lady who smells funny and can't remember their names.  Past the age of 10 they will have their activities, their friends and I won't be as important to spend time with. As it is now, they won't have any good memories of me except that of a woman on the other end of the phone who says "I love you" choking back tears.  They won't feel my arms around them in a warm hug, they won't be able to go for an imprompt to car rid and grab an ice cream cone at the local DQ, or have sleep overs. Do I sound selfish, probably to some, do I apologize for that, no,,not at all.. we all have things that are important to us. To me its my gr.children, so don't tell me to get over it.

My daughters are young they have their whole lives ahead of them.  Everytime I get sick I know that its another notch out of my time line, and makes me very aware of what I am missing.  I personally don't think that wanting to share my gr.kids lives for the first 8-10 yrs is too much to ask for, one day my daughters will understand that..I hope... in the mean time I plug through the days, I try not to think about them so the sadness doesn't consume me. I try not to think about what they are doing, what they are experiencing, what they are learning , how their looks are changing and most of all that I am missing it all. 

Some good links

Been doing a lot of reading today, trying to find out what may be causing JJ to be acting so nasty the past couple of weeks.  Usually he has a couple of "good days" during a 7 day period,,but just haven't been seeing those lately.  I have found some interesting links that I thought I would share.. nothing to help my dilemma mind you,, but its good reading for those with special needs children.

New online screening test for autism in young children

https://www.m-chat.org/index.php

Thimerosal (Mercury) In Vaccines Not Linked To Autism, New Research

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/201047.php

Babies Born At 37 To 39 Weeks Have Higher Risk Of Autism And Special Educational Needs

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/191396.php

Toddlers With Autism May Fix Their Eyes On Geometric Patterns Rather Than Children Playing

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/200188.php

Food Dye Ban Implemented Or Considered By Some Health Authorities After Cancer And Hyperactivity Link Found

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/195118.php

ADHD Is A Genetic Neurodevelopmental Disorder, Scientists Reveal

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/202997.php

ADHD Could Be Misdiagnosed In Nearly 1 Million US Kids Say Researchers

http://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/198077.php

Silly Saturday

Got to go to a lighter place today with my blog post, since the week has been so difficult.  N and I got out of the house and to a movie after all last night.  Once B & D got here to babysit, he ignored us and we just left.. he didn't miss us or act up for them.  He did decided to turn on the tap down stairs in the set tub which has a hand held shower head and hose on it.  The shower head was pointing out towards him so, yup you guessed it, he got drenched.  Not sure what would possess him to even turn it on, I asked.."I don't know was his answer". He has never turned it on before!  The girls came to his rescue and cleaned up the water and he went and changed his clothes. 

The movie "Red" with Bruce Willis, Helen Murin, John Malkovich and Morgan Freeman, was excellent! It had a good mix of comedy and action without a bunch of blood and guts or every second word being a curse word.  It was a nice escape for a couple of hours, and I sure needed it.  I have posted some Oxymoron's just for laughs and to keep things on a lighter note.  I got them from my friend JP and just had to share.  Hope you all have a great day.

Oxymoron's

1.Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on a watch called the second hand?

3.If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4.If  Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5.Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6.Why does "slow down" and"slow up" mean the same thing?

7.Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8.Why do "tug" boats push their barges?

9.Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10.Why are they called "stands"when they are made for sitting?

11.Why is it called "after dark" when it is really "after light"?

12.Doesn't "expecting the unexpected"make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?

14. Why do "overlook" and "oversee"mean opposite things?

15.Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?

16.If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17.If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18.If love is blind, why is lingerieso popular?

19.If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20.Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21.Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the
batteries are dead?

22.Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23.How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels?  Aren't we clean when we use them?

25.Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26.Why do they call it a TV "set" when you only have one?

27.Christmas - What other time of year do you sit in front of a dead tree and
eat candy out of your socks?

28. Why do we drive on a parkway and park on a driveway?
I dunno, why do we?

Fed up Friday

We are into day two of no computer for JJ after school.  I can tell you that I am so fed up with the whining and complaining.. seriously.  Being consistent with a regular child is trying right?  Try it with a special needs child who doesn't understand the concept of "no means no"...lol  As soon as he walked in the door from school, it was "can I go on the computer and just look at -you tube-?" Of course my answer was "no, no computer means no computer, not just no to the games you play on the computer".  He didn't understand that concept, and wanted to argue about it. Everything is exaggerated with him, and if I engage, it will turn to a big meltdown.  So again, I refuse to enter into a petty argument with a child,  I ignore him until he is willing to talk and not yell and listen instead of being so focused on his thought process.  Let me tell you, this is daunting.

He yells because he has no volume control. He talks loud, plays loud, yells even louder. lol

Being so ridged is in itself stressful on my end because he has no give what so ever.  If he thinks something should be done a certain way, by gawd it has to be done that way.  Right now he is in his bedroom yelling that its all my fault.  I'm hoping that he gets in a calmer place within the hour.  N and I are going out to a movie something that happens a couple times a year and we have JJ's cousins coming over to babysit.  If he doesn't calm down then he will ruin our chance of going out.  There is no way I can leave him with his cousins to handle.. I think he has figured that out and is doing this on purpose.  Anything to ruin a couple of hours out of the house without him. Its something that we rarely get to do, and even with giving him fair warning of what will be happening, some times it just isn't enough.  This is one of those times.

I was sooooo looking forward to going out, now my head hurts and I'm in a "fed up" mood, which makes me snappy.. Hopefully I can de-stress myself before we leave so the whole night isn't ruined.

Have a good weekend everyone!