Thursday, September 30, 2010

Bed time woo's

Dealing with bed time is a nightmare. Every single night since the day he was born.

Just getting JJ to go to bed, lay down, relax.. its a big deal.  The first problem is the time he goes to bed. He wants it to be 9pm on week nights and 10 on weekends.  We have fought for years about time, we always win, but the fighting is stressful.  

This past year I came up with the idea of changing all the clocks in the house back an hour. I did this because if I say its bed time and the clock says 9pm its really only 8pm and then he can get a half decent nights sleep.  Its worked pretty well so far, except when he asks me what time it is and I look at my watch.. then I forget and tell him the real time. UGH!

The good news is he has no real concept of time, so half hour later I can correct myself and he doesn't argue with me.

Of course anyone who came into the house when I first did the "clock change" I had to whisper and tell them not to pay attention to the time on our

I mentioned to the dr. the last time I had JJ in, that getting him to settle down at night was a horrible experience. He suggested that we purchase some melatonin at our health food store. Its a natural substance found in the brain normally but in children with ASD its found that they have lower than normal amounts of melatonin.  Its a 3mg pill that he could swallow or let it melt in his mouth with no taste to put him off.  

I have to say, I have fought not to have JJ on any meds. Sometimes you just have to listen to the experts.  It has made a big difference for us and for JJ. That tiny little pill has brought nightmare bed time to a much more deal-able level.  It lets his hyper mind calm down and about 30 minutes after he takes it, he is ready to go to sleep. Less arguing, fighting and meltdowns.

Sometimes it has to be used for a long period of time, sometimes the melatonin can just help regulate sleep time and can be stopped after 6mths. I am hoping the later works, but for now he is getting the rest he and his brain needs to function in school and deal with life in general.

And so it starts

It started yesterday, that tickle at the back of your throat.. the one that makes you cough every time you breath.  You know the one, it's so irritating that after a while you get a headache.. mind you its not a constant headache, its a pounding every time you cough.  I bet you've had a tickle cough like the one I have described.  Well I have it, coughed all night as a matter of fact and this morning I feel like someone has put a hot poker in my lungs.

I know what I'm in for.

JJ's been sick for the past 3 weeks, he got sick the third day of school actually and it hasn't let up since.  Can you imagine, only back to school 3 days and he gets sick.  Don't they disinfect the desks over the summer holidays?  Last school year he was sick constantly, seemed like he would just get over one cold or virus and bam he gets hit with another one. Of course he would spread it on to me, and since my immune system is already compromised I would get three times sicker than the average person.  I really hope that this year we aren't sick all school year again!

Now I'm going to go have a nice cup of Oolong tea and cuddle up in a blanket.

Friday, September 24, 2010

What a way to start the day.

I was so mistaken when I thought today was going to be a good day.. JJ got up early, got dressed without me telling him to and was looking for breakfast by the time I got up at 6:45am.  I thought, well this is a nice start to the day for a change.. I was wrong though.

After cooking him his favorite , an english muffin with cheese and egg, he then got so defiant with me and didn't want to go brush his teeth and hair.  So once again the morning struggle was on!  The incisive talking back, not wanting to do what he is told, getting so angry and then hitting things, or slamming doors or saying "I hate you" it just wears me down. When I pushed him to go do it, he says "I'm going to call social services on you" ! Like where does that come from. He is only 9 what does he know about social services? Do 9yr olds talk about this stuff at school?  I tell him that social services won't help him, he is disobeying a parent and has to do as he is told...  it gets me no where, but its the same conversation every time a zillion times a day.  Since Asperger kids can have other disorders like OCD, ADD, ADHD, I have been doing a lot of internet searching and personally I think he has whats called "oppositional difiant disorder". Here is a list of characteristic behaviors seen in Oppositional Defiant Disorder children. They include:

•Getting angry easily
•Arguing and talking back to adults
•Defying reasonable requests
•Bucking rules
•Intentionally bothering people
•Pushing their limits
•Not taking responsibility for their mistakes or misbehavior
•Getting easily annoyed
•Getting angry easily
•Being resentful, spiteful, or vindictive.
•Speaking harshly
•Being brutally unkind when upset
•Seeking revenge
•Having frequent temper tantrums

Parents of ODD children usually describe their children as being rigid and demanding, even from an early age.

I have to tell you that having Aspergers is quite enough but JJ has every single one of these symptoms since he was just a toddler.  Believe me when I say it is so hard to deal with day in and day out.  I can honestly say that there has never,ever been one day where things have gone smoothly. NOT ONE!!  Every time he talks back and refuses to do something, I be consistant (which we were told would work) and I take something away that he likes, like his lego stuff, his DS, or time on the computer playing games.  But nothing works, he still doesn't change.  I have been battling this for 7 yrs, seven long, long years... and then you top off those actions with lack of eye contact, not being able to read my facial expressions, getting stressed out easily and repeating things over and over and then having meltdowns... oh my....

I called his dr. yesterday to follow up on a referral he was going to make for JJ in regards to his bowel problems and which I still hadn't gotten a call about another appointment...  I was told there was a two yr waiting list... two years!!!! He will be 11 by then and I will probably have major problems by then!! What kind of help is that??? Seriously.... why does this city only have one developmental psychologist?  I am so down in the dumps..