Friday, May 02, 2014

Quite the year

Its almost been a year since J and I moved. I'm still single after two years, and very content. I tried the on line dating thing, cause lets face it where do you meet a man these days?  Lets just say that the men on these sites are worse or pretty much the same as the man I got rid of, so why get involved with that all over again! I am relaxed and happy living single, no BS to put up with, no lies to sort through every minute of every day..oh you just have no idea how free I feel.

J had a rough patch though. Anxiety due to bullying at school brought him to his knees. It became impossible for him to go to school just before Christmas break and as it progressed he was unable to go to the mall, movie theater or even the corner store with me.  It froze this life, leaving him only comfortable in our home and his room.

I reached out to mental health, but was told because he has aspergers they had no one trained to deal with him. No one in the whole province! I must admit, I got angry and told the woman he was having issues with anxiety, not something specifically related to aspergers, but that argument got me nowheres. I got on the internet and researched as much as I could find on anxiety, I tried what was suggested, but it was out of my reach to help him.
I then called the Dr who diagnosed him, and begged for help. He got in to see her within 2 weeks which was fantastic because she is booked a couple years in advance. After talking with him and seeing how paralyzed he had become, she prescribed fluoxetine 5mg liquid to start for two weeks then a 10mg capsule.  

After 2 weeks J was able to walk into the school alone, as far as the office to pick up his homework.  Might not sound like much, but it was a massive accomplishment! After another week, we met with the guidance counselor and set up a "get back to school" routine that J thought he could manage.  They were very accommodating, setting him pick how he wanted to integrate back.  J wanted to do two periods in the morning in the guidance room, for a week, then three periods the next week, and so on until he was up to five periods, then he would try to actually go back into his class room.  To my surprise after the first week in the guidance room, J decided to go back to his classroom.!

The medication had reduced his anxiety to the point that he felt comfortable enough to go back and interact with his classmates again, something that had become unbearable for two months, now was just a distant memory. He delt with the questions " where have you been", "how come you have been gone for so long" in his own way, a simple " if I tell you, I'll have to kill you" response, and it worked, they stopped asking.  The second week back to school he even attended a school dance. J got his life back.

The bullying seems to have stopped as well, even though I was vigilant before in asking about his day, now I've gotten more word specific and ask if he is having any problems with people bugging him, teasing him, or out right bullying him. If anyone is making him feel uncomfortable or making him feel anxious again. Being word specific is very important in dealing with a person with aspergers. It takes practice to get the right words to get them to tell you things they otherwise wouldn't disclose. It's an evolving process.

He is a much different child, outgoing, friendly, talkative and funny. The medication has brought out a side of him that has never been present before. He is social like I've not seen before. He has a confidence about him now, he talks about his future what he dreams of doing. He wants to be a police officer and has even looked up the college, how much it would cost and where he could live while attending.  He is only 12 and maybe he will change his mind the older he gets, but for him to be looking forward is a big thing.

Came across this today and it was a good read.