what is Aspergers(ASD)

Aspergers Syndrome is  part of the Autistic Spectrum Disorders.

List of Asperger Symptoms

Poor communication such as:
Speech and language peculiarities
Overformal speech
Taking everything literally
Word repetition (echolalia)
Long monologues
Inappropriate remarks
Inability to take turns talking
Inability to listen to others
Speaking without any pitch or tone
Unable to recognize figure of speech or sarcasm
Difficulty initiating conversation
Flat, cheerless demeanor
Loud voice
Doesn’t respond to name very well

Non-verbal communication problems such as:
Inability to pick up facial expressions
Not able to notice body language
Does not pick up subtle changes in someone tone of voice
Avoid eye contact while communicating
Unaware of personal space ( invading it!)
Few facial expressions
Unaware of unwritten rules

Impaired social interaction such as:
Social withdrawal
Lack of interest in other people
Eccentric personality
Preoccupied with their own agenda
Socially non-adapted personality
Urge to correct people in their speech or behavior
Limited interests
Unusual preoccupations
Need for sameness
Repetitive routines or rituals
Engages in highly repetitive play
Excellent rote memory
Lack of empathy
Inflexible thinking
Lack of imagination
Rigid thinking
Lack of make-believe or imitative play
Fear of changes

Poor motor skills such as:
Poor coordination
Uncoordinated motor movements
Hand flapping
Head swiveling
Stilted Doesn’t have a strong response to pain
Extreme dislike of certain noises, textures or situations
Easily over stimulated by sounds, crowds or lights


Asperger symptoms are not the same for every child or adult with this diagnosis. Aspies are all different people with their own unique set of characteristics. However they do have some of them in common.
Some Asperger symptoms are:
1. Socially and emotionally inappropriate behavior
2. Limited interests or preoccupation with a subject
3. Repetitive behaviors or rituals;
4. Peculiarities in speech and language;
5. Problems with nonverbal communication
6. Lack of empathy
7. Clumsy and uncoordinated motor movements
8. Inflexibility or rigid thinking
9. Fear of changes; sameness in daily routines

Triad of impairments 
A researcher named Lorna Wing has established a breakthrough in the search for typical Asperger characteristics. Together with her colleagues, she found out all the children in her research group had each of the following three typical Asperger symptoms:

Poor Communication in Asperger Syndrome

Asperger syndrome, unlike any of the other disorders in the autistic spectrum does not show the severe delay in speech or cognitive development during the first three years of the child. However there are big differences in language and communication skills for those with Asperger Syndrome such as an inability to communicate or express their own emotional state. It is hard for them to use the right words in the right situation and everything that is said is taken literally. Their inability to read between the lines, understand the concept of figure of speech or double meaning in language, is a strong indication of poor communication. People with Asperger do not understand metaphors or sarcasm in conversations and are confused when they find out people say something but mean the opposite!

The impairment in communication that comes to those with Asperger Syndrome and their intense interests or preoccupations can lead to very unusual forms of communication. They might walk up to a complete stranger and start a lengthy monologue about their subject of interest. They are unaware of the fact other people might not share their interests because of their lack of empathy. They are not able to pick up any non-verbal signs from others who might want to change the subject. In this way any conversation that started out as a dialogue will be turned into a monologue.
Unwritten rules or non verbal signs are not picked up and most people with Asperger Syndrome will interrupt others while they are still talking. Not because they want to be rude but because they can not make sense of the rhythm of conversation. The non verbal signs used by others go unnoticed for those with Asperger.

Rules, such as: always tell the truth, may be followed too strict like I as a mother of a 9 year old son with Asperger syndrome found out:
When I took my son with Asperger to the pool he walked up to a lady who was overweight and simply told her: “ to me it is obvious you ate too much fat ”.
After the incident happened my son complained to me he did not understand why people were upset or angry with him all the time.
Their poor communication may result in remarks that are meant well but often are offending other people. They are usually upset and shocked to find out their remarks are hurtful or inappropriate.

According to Peeters (1996) communication serves a purpose and has several functions such as:
• Asking for something
• Getting some-ones attention
• Refusing
• Give information
• Make remarks to share attention
• Ask for information
• Express your feelings

Since the last three functions are meant to share attention or feelings it is more difficult for those with Asperger to do so. They focus less attention on others in their environment than people without Asperger Syndrome.
In order to structure their inner thoughts and process information some people with Asperger Syndrome will verbalize their thoughts out loud. Their speech can be flat and without tone or pitch but overly formal. Even young children can sound like little professors!

What To Do?

Individuals with Asperger Syndrome may have trouble processing information. They are distracted when they hear more then one voice at the same time. Make sure the room you are in is quiet when you speak to them so they can hear your properly.
• Be precise, direct and straight to the point
• Avoid jokes metaphors or sarcasm
• Give complete messages: facts, thoughts, feelings and your needs
• Use the word I instead of you
• Explain metaphors, figure of speech or jokes
• Do role pay exercises with children so they can learn how to start a conversation and encourage them to ask questions
• Explain which remarks are inappropriate and why
• Never assume the child or adult with Asperger knows what you mean
• Learn them to ask for help when they don’t understand something
• Teach them to use empathic remarks in conversation by modeling
• Take your time between two sentences
• Learn the child to ask the teacher to write down the instructions or repeat them again.
• Avoid remarks like: in a minute, for a while, sometimes, often, maybe tomorrow or possibly

People with Asperger are not able to charm, use a hidden agenda or hide something from others. They will not recognize this behavior in other people either.

Impairment in Social Interaction

Children and adults with pervasive development disorders, like Asperger Syndrome have difficulty with social interaction. This is not caused by their desire to avoid social contact but the problem comes from the inability to understand and use the rules of social interaction and act according to those rules. Most rules that have to do with social interaction are unwritten, too complex for them to grasp and changing all the time. They simply do not know what to do and when to do it.

According to Gilberg and others: impairment in social interaction may include:

• Inability to interact with peers
• Lack of desire to interact with peers
• Poor appreciation of social cues
• Poor eye contact at appropriate times
• Socially and emotionally inappropriate responses
• Avoids looking at other people’s faces
• Doesn’t respond to facial expressions or body language
• Misreading social situations
• Inability to smile back at others
• Seem unmotivated by praise or physical affection
• Inability to demonstrate sympathy or empathy

Although most people with Aspergers want to have friends and interact with others, their attempts are unsuccessful which makes them outsiders in their peer groups. Their social behavior is naive and peculiar and they fail in knowing intuitively of how to fit in. Children with Asperger Syndrome can be known for “being in their own world” and preoccupied with their own agenda. However they express a desire to fit in socially and have friends. They are often deeply frustrated and disappointed by their lack of social interaction.
Due to their impairment in social interaction children with Asperger Syndrome tend to be loners who have no close friends. In school during playtime or on their lunch break, they are alone in the playground. When they are able to make a connection with others those other children are much older or much younger.
Young children with Asperger Syndrome are often bullied in school which can lead to social withdrawal. Older children and adults may become isolated. Their repeated, unsuccessful attempts at interacting socially and their painful awareness of their differences from their peers, often leads to anxiety and/or depression.
Asperger Syndrome is lifelong and present from birth. It is not something developed later on in life and it will not disappear. Children with Asperger syndrome often grow up to be consider an "odd" or "eccentric" adult. Over time some of them will learn the rules of social interaction intellectually rather then intuitively and will be successful later on in their life.

Impairment in Social Imagination

Individuals with Asperger Syndrome have typical characteristics that directly affect their ability to relate meaningfully to others. One of those characteristics is an impairment in social imagination combined with inflexible thinking and repetitive behavior. The lack of imagination can be mild or more severe. It will effect the ability those with Aspergers have to appreciate other people’s point of view and there for their behavior will lack social and emotional reciprocity. But lets start at the very beginning:

Imaginative Play

An impairment in imagination is something that will be obvious from early childhood. Young children with Asperger Syndrome will have trouble with imaginative play. This means being able to pretend you are a princes or cowboy is unthinkable. Normal children learn a lot through imaginative play. They can pretend to be teachers or parents to their dolls (or siblings) and practice those adult roles through play. This will help them out in the real world later on in life.Most children with Asperger Syndrome lack the ability to pretend. This means they will get stuck in their thinking which is focused on reality all the time. When their peers invite them to play cowboys and Indians and pretend their bikes are the horses the Asperger child will keep seeing a bike instead of a horse. He will not be able to join in. This will effect their behavior, social interaction and the way they are able to connect or relate to others. Toys may be considered fake, Halloween outfits silly and they may become loners from an early age. Most of them are interested in stuff that goes on in real life such as trains, planes, aerospace, animals or computers.

Growing Up

How does someone with an impairment in social imagination go through life?Not being able to practice roles and social skills through imaginative play, those with Asperger Syndrome are bound to make many social errors. The limitations in their understanding of other people’s feelings come from their lack of imagining what something must be like for some-one else.
Those with Asperger Syndrome can see things their way only. This can not be helped. It’s not unwillingness but an inability to place yourself in other people’s shoes and see the situation from another perspective. Their behavior can be rigid and repetitive. They are highly focused on topics or theirinterest and are known to be preoccupied with their own agenda.
When you are unable to place yourself in another person's situation and see things from another point of view you are likely to have big trouble interacting socially. When someone asks for your honest opinion and you give it to them, they get angry, upset or start to cry. People with Asperger miss the subtleness or tact in their language or behavior others take for granted. Feelings of other people can not be understood and social clues such as body language or facial expressions are not picked up.
Individuals with Asperger Syndrome may be unaware of other peoples feelings. Let alone taken them into consideration!
This is something people surrounding those with Asperger have to remember and understand. None of their behavior or remarks is indented to hurt you, even though they may seem very rude. Due to lack of imagination they lack empathy with your feelings and can not imagine you can get hurt!

Asperger Complications

Due to Asperger complications there is no sharp image of the stereotype behavior of an Asperger child or adult. They will all face problems in social interaction, communication and imagination but these problems will vary from person to person. Offcourse each individual also has his or her own personality and intelligence and may come from a totally different environment or background. All these factors play their own part in how this person is affected by Asperger Syndrome. But there are more Asperger complications.

Asperger Syndrome hardly ever comes alone. Most of the time it is just one of the problems a child or adult has. This is what we mean by Asperger complications. Factors that make it more difficult to see and recognize the Asperger symptoms or traits. There are several other conditions or disorders known to appear together with Asperger Syndrome such as:

• Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD)
• Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD)
• Nonverbal learning disorder (NLD)
• Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
• Sensory overload
• Anxiety
• Tourette’s Syndrome
• Perfectionism
• Depression
• Giftedness
• Tics
• Anger tantrums
• Dyslexia
• Dyscalculia
• Epilepsy
• Delayed Motor Skills
• Fear of failure
The signs and symptoms of these Asperger complications can get in the way of recognizing the symptoms of Asperger Syndrome and dealing with those symptoms. The presence of co-occurring conditions may delay the Asperger syndrome diagnosis or get parents, spouses and teachers sidetracked. For parents it means more issues to deal with and more problems to solve. To guide a child with Asperger Syndrome towards adulthood is not an easy task at all and the last thing you need as a parent is more complications.
Read a personal story about my own Asperger son and his sensory problemswhen he was younger.

The scientific term for other disorders to appear together with Asperger Syndrome is comorbidity. It's a definition that pops up on a regular basis in books and literature on Asperger or any of the other autistic disorders. The list above may not be complete but will give you a good impression of what you can expect on top of the Asperger diagnosis.

Aspergers are Highly Intelligent

Intellectual giftedness is an intellectual ability significantly higher than average. Gifted individuals learn more quickly, deeply, and broadly than their peers. Most people with Asperger are also very intelligent. High intelligent children and adults often developed asynchronously; their minds, cognitive and emotional functions are developed differently and are ahead of their physical growth. Their interests are completely different from those of their peers and they prefer the company of adults or older children because they can relate to them in a better way. Giftedness is not evenly distributed throughout all intellectual spheres: an individual may excel in solving logic problems and yet be a poor speller; another gifted individual may be able to read and write at a far above average level and yet have trouble with mathematics.

Similarities Between Asperger Characteristics and High Intelligence

Those with high intelligent are also know as gifted and same as those with Asperger they experience the world in a different way than most people do. They both have high reasoning capabilities, are curious to learn, have a large vocabulary and especially an excellent rote memory. Gifted children as well as children with Asperger Syndrome can be physically and emotionally sensitive and can question authority. They will never accept no for an answer without being told the reason for it. Actions need explaining and a clear purpose or else they miss the logic of it. Some gifted children same as those with Asperger have trouble talking and interacting with their peers because they do not share the same interests. Both can be isolated as a result of their inability to interact with peers.


ADHD and Asperger Syndrome

People with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) have a poor attention span combined with over activity and restlessness. They have trouble focussing on the one thing they need to do and get distracted easily. Without enough attention span learning in school, being successful at work or socializing with others can be much more difficult. This will have an effect on the quality of life in general.

Children and adults with ADHD have problems on different levels such as:
• Inattention; trouble concentrating
• Hyperactivity; trouble getting organized
• Impulsive behavior: trouble controlling their impulses

Impulsive or hyperactive behavior can be noticed at an early age. Children can show signs of restlessness, irritability and act emotionally immature for their age. Some can display aggressive behavior and can be hard to discipline.

When children start school and are expected to be able to complete a task or sit all day problems such as mood swings or anger outbursts will be more likely to come forward. Their hyperactive behavior can be disruptive in class. Teens or young adolescents with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder can show signs of aggressive behavior, irritability or antisocial behavior.

A child must have exhibited at least six of the following symptoms all typical off attention difficulties, for at least six months, to an extent that is unusual for their age and level of intelligence:

• Fails to pay close attention to detail or makes careless errors during work or play.
• Fails to finish tasks or sustain attention in play activities.
• Seems not to listen to what is said to him or her.
• Fails to follow through instructions or to finish homework or chores (not because of confrontational behavior or failure to understand instructions).
• Disorganized about tasks and activities.
• Avoids tasks like homework that require sustained mental effort.
• Loses things necessary for certain tasks or activities, such as pencils, books or toys.
• Easily distracted.
• Forgetful in the course of daily activities.

A child must have exhibited at least three of the following symptoms ofhyperactivity for at least six months, to an extent that is unusual for their age and level of intelligence:

• Runs around or excessively climbs over things.
• Unduly noisy in playing, or has difficulty in engaging in quiet leisure activities.
• Leaves seat in classroom or in other situations where remaining seated is expected.
• Fidgets with hands or feet or squirms on seat.

At least one of the following symptoms of impulsivity must have persisted at least for six months to an extent that is unusual for their age and level of intelligence:

• Blurts out answers before the questions have been completed.
• Fails to wait in lines or await turns in games or group situations.
• Interrupts or intrudes on others, e.g. butts into others conversations or games.
• Talks excessively without appropriate response to social restraint.

How to cope

The combination of ADHD and Asperger can be hard to handle but is seen a lot. On top of the typical Asperger symptoms you might see more hyperactive behavior in your child then you wished for. It can be difficult to parent or discipline a child who has ADHD and Asperger Syndrome. In order for them to understand the world around them they need their environment structured so they can predict what will happen as much as possible. Here is what you can do:

Put your daily routine into a schedule. Write down what times you get up, eat, play, do homework, watch tv and go to sleep. The best thing is to put drawings or pictures on the schedule because most of these specific kids think visual. Stick to this routine as much as possible and make room for writing down changes in the routine so they can be warned ahead of time.

Communicate ( one to one) clear, specific and straight to the point.Use short sentences and give the child time to process the information. Make sure the person in question can repeat your directions and has understood what you just said.

Set up a family meeting and put up house rules. This way everybody will know what to do and what to expect when the rules are broken. Make very clear what behavior is not tolerated and what the punishment will be. Put the rules in writing and post it on the fridge!

Do homework together, on a set time and place. Children with short attention span can not stay focused for long so make sure you set up a schedule for taking breaks or reward the child after finishing with one task with taking a break. Make sure there is a routine or ritual for the breaks. How long they take is set upfront and stick to it! The more clear you are on any subject the better it will be understood.

Emphasize good behavior by giving compliments or rewards. ( token or money) if you want your child to behave well you have to give it plenty of positive attention and compliments. Their active or impulsive behavior has nothing to do with unwillingness. It’s their inability to focus or think flexible. Focus yourself on the things that go well! Emphasize their strong points instead of pointing out all the things they are not able to do well.

Inform the teacher. Make sure there is a orderly and well structured classroom for your child. Maybe a quiet place to work set up especially for them without distractions. Sometimes it helps to adjust their school materials or give written instructions on what to do. Make a list of steps to do for them in order to complete the task.

Be consistent! The most important rule in raising these type of children is to stick to what you have said and do what you promised. There is no sense in setting rules if you are unwilling to stick to them.


Managing behavior at home and in school You can help any child by providing a structured environment with clear rules of acceptable behavior. See a specialist who can learn you the techniques to handle the child’s behavior. Make sure there is consistency in your approach and that of the teachers in school.Medication a well known medication for ADHD is methylphenidate (or Ritalin). This can reduce hyperactivity and impulsiveness. It will increase the attention span and can help children to concentrate at school.
Therapy Psychological and behavioral therapy can help children who have ADHD and Asperger, to learn how to cope with these conditions. Make sure you find a specialist who has specific knowledge of ADHD as well as Asperger Syndrome.

Asperger Sensory Overload

People with Aspergers are known to have problems with sensory overload. This means they can be overly sensitive to, touch, tastes, textures in the mouth, movements, loud sounds or lights. They receive too much information or stimuli from their environment which can explain some of their typical behaviors such as keeping their ears covered in a crowd, their clumsiness or their unwillingness to go to social gatherings. Their poor communication skills and social withdrawal may also be caused by the input of too much sensory information in the brain.

Sensory overload, occurs when the brain receives too much sensory information. This sensory information is needed to interact with the world around us. The only way we receive this information is through the senses which help us to find out where we need to put our attention, how to react or when to ignore stimuli. The senses can be seen as a filter who helps us protect ourself against too much information.
But what if that filter does not work properly and lets in way too much information? Is it possible to function normally then? This can be the case for some people with Asperger, mostly children. Unable to sort out the right sensory information they seem overwhelmed by the world around them and are unable to react to it effectively.

Signs of Sensory Overload

• Overly sensitive when touched, refusing to be held or cuddled
• Easily distracted
• Avoiding moving playground equipment such as swings
• Emotional problems
• Social withdrawal
• Hyperactive
• Sensitive to sounds such as singing or humming
• Lack of fear even when it would be appropriate
• Unaware of dangers
• Clumsiness
• Anger management problems
• Unable to calm themselves down
• Unable to stop their behavior, even when it is asked
• Impulsive
• Delayed motor skills
• Delayed language acquisition
• Delayed speech skills
• Refusing to get splashed by water in the face (taking a shower)
• Unable to wear anything with clothing tags still in it
• Fainting when too much sounds or lights are unexpectedly present.

Normally children will learn to make sense of the information by interacting with others and through their daily play activities. Children with Asperger Syndrome lack social interaction with others and because their senses are overly sensitive they have to put more effort into all the normal simple stuff others take for granted. Learning new things or playing with others is much more difficult this way.

Sensory Integration Therapy

The purpose of Sensory Integration therapy is to engage children in fun activities which will help them integrate the sensory information. The therapy involves deep pressure, brushing, massage, vibration, and the use of play equipment such as inclines, balls, swings, and tunnels. This way they learn to get more control over their bodies and their environment. It’s a creative fun way to interact with children and has shown some amazing results.There are possibilities for a home program or specific types of activities you can do yourself. It is fun to interact with your child this way and it helps them too! If your child has specific problems that re-occur in daily life, a good therapist will train you to help your child.


Look for a qualified therapist, an OTR specialized in sensory integration. You can look in the Yellow Pages under therapy, occupational therapy or physical therapy and call clinics or hospitals that specialize in pediatrics. Although some schools have a school ORT most of these therapists are not qualified to give Sensory Integration Therapy. Make sure you find a qualified ORT!


Anxiety in Asperger Syndrome

Anxiety is one of our normal human emotion that everyone will experiences some times. Many of us feel anxious, or nervous, when we have problems or stress at work, or before taking a test. Anxiety disorders, however, are different. They can cause so much distress that it interferes with a person's ability to lead a normal life. People with this disorder are worried and feelings of fear, uneasiness or panic are constant. These feelings can be overwhelming.

Research has shown that the rate of anxiety symptoms in children or adults with Asperger Syndrome is much higher then average. More then 75% of all children with Asperger also experience intense anxious feelings. For people without Asperger the disorder most often begins during the late teens and early adulthood but if it appears together with Asperger Syndrome it can be present even in young children.
This disorder can easily co-occur with Asperger Syndrome and make life even more difficult. To be diagnosed with two disorders at the same time will effect the quality of the child’s life specially when symptoms go unnoticed and untreated.
When your child or spouse is diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome it might be wise to look for signs of anxiety disorder too! Some of the symptoms of anxiety in Asperger syndrome could be:
• Avoidance of new situations
• Preference for sameness
• Rigidity
• Insisting on rules and routines
• Social Withdrawal
• Irritability
• Somatic complaints
• Repetitive behavior
• Anger management problems
• Tantrums

Off course the list of Asperger symptoms is longer and will overlap symptoms of anxiety. This is why this disorder in people with Asperger may go undiagnosed

Due to the characteristics of Asperger Syndrome such as being unable to cope with new situations or unexpected events makes it logical that feelings of panic appear. Individuals with Asperger will experience more stress in their lives. The unpredictable way other people behave, break rules or express their emotions makes those with Asperger feel unsafe. The typical mannerisms individuals with Asperger have such as flapping their hands, head swiveling, rocking their bodies, their preference to routines and rituals or their repetitive behaviors are all different ways to cope with anxious feelings. It helps those with Asperger to feel in control of the situation.
The typical repetitive behavior is to prevent feelings of uneasiness which occur when something new or unexpected happens. The need for routines, sameness and rules can also be related to avoiding feelings of anxiety. This repetitive behavior gives them a way to express their feelings of stress or anxiety. When the situation becomes unbearable in the eyes of those with Asperger their typical behavior will increase. Some even say Asperger behavior equals stress or anxiety behavior. Their rigid thinking provides them with copings skills for these feelings. As long as their environment is predictable and filled with structured rules and regulations they can rely on, their anxious feelings will diminish.

What to do?

There are successful treatments for anxiety disorder such as:
• Psychotherapy: provides strategies for dealing with this disorder
• Cognitive behavioral therapy: helps recognize and change thought patterns and behaviors
• Medication: are used to reduce the symptoms
• Relaxation therapy: may provide techniques to calm down
However when your child has both Asperger Syndrome as well as anxiety disorder you can also:
• Look for information on Sensory Integration Therapy and find a qualified ORT that can help your child to calm down when feelings of anxiety appear.


Anger Tantrums

Preschool children have anger tantrums mostly until age 4 but children with Asperger Syndrome can have tantrums much longer. Outbursts of anger or anger tantrums are common in young preschool children starting at age 2 to 3 and will start to decline normally at age 4. It’s a way to express their anger by dropping to the floor, kicking and screaming or even holding their breath. Young children like preschoolers do not have enough words to express their feelings of frustration in a normal way. This is the reason anger tantrums are common among young children and even appear more often in children diagnosed with Asperger.

Children with Asperger Syndrome have difficulty in communication, a wish for everything to stay the same and sticking to their favorite routines. If something unexpected happens they can get angry easily or when they do not understand what they are told or what is expected from them. Their frustration levels are much higher and even the slightest thing can set them off. A change in environment or routine, being criticized or yelled at or not being able to express your feelings in a different way. To outsiders their sometimes violent tantrums seem to be without a cause. As a parent of two boys with Asperger I know from experience there is always a reason for them to express their frustration in such a way. Reading about it can help you finding ways to cope with anger.

Causes of anger tantrums

Children with Asperger have more trouble communication so are unable to express their frustration in a more acceptable way. Their anxiety level is much higher and they are known for their extreme reactions. It can be as simple as being touched unexpectedly or a stranger bumping into them and they feel it was done on purpose. Another problems for those with Asperger can be sensory overload Some children with Asperger, including my own, have great difficulty with their senses such as the feel of their clothes, tags inside their clothes or the taste or texture of certain foods in their mouth. These uncomfortable senses make them feel uneasy and lead to built up stress. Anger tantrums can be a seen as a stress release.

What NOT to do:

One thing I learned from an expert over the years is this: never give in when they are throwing an anger tantrum. For example: if you child asks for a cookie and has an anger tantrum because you said no, you will reward him for this behavior if you give him the cookie anyway. This way they are rewarded for their unacceptable behavior and guess what: they will do it again and again and again because it pays off! I know it’s hard to stay calm but shouting back will not work, hitting you child will not work either. Realize it is the only way they can get rid of their frustration.

What you can do:

Isolated your child or walk away from the scene yourself if you feel unable to control your own feelings. Be direct and tell them they are on time out so they can calm down until they are able to talk about it. Find out the reason why your child has an anger tantrum so you both can learn to avoid it in the future. Trying to distract or redirect your child might help when they are still young. Holding your child firmly and not allowing him or her to escape can work sometimes. It is called holding therapy and it can have a calming effect when deep pressure is put on the body. What worked for me and my son was to put our hands against each other and let him try to push me as far away from him as possible. It would put pressure and strain on his arms and legs and help him to vent his frustrations. Don’t let him push your body or get physical, just pushing through the hands will calm him down. I never gave my children the idea they should be ashamed for their feelings of frustration or anger. It’s okay to be angry but it’s not okay to hit or hurt somebody because of it. Being angry is not something they are able to control, but they do have a choice what they do with their anger. Try to talk about it to them, create an open communication with your child. Support him or her in any way you possibly can.Just never give in to their expressed wishes while they are angry or they will learn being angry and throwing anger tantrums will pay off and give them what they wanted in the first place.


Asperger and the Fear of Failure

Fear of failure is a common complication when you are diagnosed with Asperger Syndrome. Chances are that progress or development such as learning new skills or meeting new people is even harder for those who have this combination. Being afraid of failure is closely related to fear of rejection and most of the time those who have it also fear being criticized by others. These fears can delay your progress in many ways because fear of failure can immobilize you.

For people with an autistic disorder it is a very uncomfortable uneasy feeling to try new things or step out of their daily routines and rituals. Their rigid thinking and love for sameness prevents them from doing so. The fear of failing can contribute also to this problem. Being afraid of making a mistake or error can hold you back in taking a risk at something you have never done before. Because failing makes their stress levels go sky high most of those with Autism never risk it. We have all heard the stories of those children with autism who did not speak until they knew they were able to do it perfectly and instead of starting with just words they would wait until they could pronounce a complete sentence.

What can you do to help?

If your goal is to make those with Asperger feel less anxiety about making a mistake you have to encourage them to take action, take the next step or open their minds to something new. Explain to them that failure is a way of learning new things and everybody has the right to make mistakes and learn from them. If you never make a mistake you never learned anything. This might take time and much persuading on your part but if the environment is safe enough and they feel supported no matter what happens they might give it a try. It can also be helpful if you make a mistake yourself and show them how you deal with it or teach them to not be so hard on themselves. Teach them that change is good: “if you always do what you have always done you will always get what you always got”. Reward them for trying something new no matter what the outcome!The best message they might need is that failure has to do with outcomes, results or behavior but never with personality or characteristics. Whenever you communicate with those who have Asperger be sure to make a huge difference between the behavior being bad or them being bad. I always tell my sons: I don’t like what you DO instead of I don’t like YOU. Please keep that in mind and they won’t feel rejected as a whole person but corrected in their behavior. Such a small step can make a huge difference.

Complete list of diagnostic criteria for Asperger syndrome diagnosis

A. Qualitatively impairment in social interaction, as manifested in at least two of the following:

•marked impairment in the use of multiple nonverbal behaviors such as eye- to -eye gaze, facial expressions, body postures and gestures to regulate social interaction.
•failure to develop peer relationships appropriate to developmental level.
•a lack of spontaneous seeking to share enjoyment, interests or achievements with other people. ( e.g. by a lack of showing, bringing or pointing out objects of interest to other people)
•lack of social or emotional reciprocity

B. Restricted repetitive and stereotyped patterns of behavior, interests and activities as manifested by at least one of the following:

• encompassing preoccupation with one or more stereotyped restricted patterns of interest that is abnormal either in intensity or focus
• apparently inflexible adherence to specific non functional routines or rituals
• stereotyped and repetitive motor mannerisms ( e.g. hand or finger flapping or twisting, or complex body movements)
• persistent preoccupation with parts of objects

C. The disturbance causes clinically significant impairment in social, occupational or other important areas of functioning.
D. There is no clinically significant general delay in language ( e.g., single words used by age 2, communicative phrases by 3 years)
E. There is no clinically significant delay in cognitive development or in the development of age appropriate self- help skills, adaptive behavior( other then social interaction) and curiosity about the environment in childhood.
F. Criteria are not met for other specific Pervasive Developmental Disorder or Schizophrenia.

Information was Copied from http://www.asperger-advice.com/index.html website.

Sleep Issues!!!!!!!!
read the following-