Sunday, March 27, 2005

Just can't breath

March 27/05- I woke again in really bad pain just under my breast on the right hand side. It’s so bad I can’t breath properly. I have to take tiny little breaths to get some air. I’m scared that the Lupus has now affected my lungs. I’ve spent another wrestless night sitting upright on the sofa, unable to sleep just passing out in 15 minute intervals. 

When N woke up I tell him I think we should go to the hospital. I hate the hospital, so I know I must be feeling bad to even suggest going in. N suggests packing a bag in case they tell me I have to stay and I reluctantly go pack one. JJ is going to his mothers for Easter so that frees us up for a few hours.. but I pack a bag for him as well, just in case he has to stay with her while I am in the hospital.

Fortunately we are taken right into an exam room. N said that the nurse wrote down “no breath sounds on right side” after the initial exam; so I guess that helped speed things up. Our hospital is famous for 12-18hrs waits in the ER to see a Dr. I avoided that today with my symptoms.

The Dr had an attitude problem or certainly rubbed me the wrong way with his questions. He was more interested in giving me a shot of narcotic than anything else. I refused to take what ever it was he was trying to push due to my allergies and told him I could handle the pain, that’s not what I was there for. I wanted to know what was causing the pain!

He orders a chest x-ray. Again he offers me oxycodone, or morphine. Again I declined.

After it was done they left me sitting in the hallway with the x-rays on my lap in a big brown envelope. I peaked. The right side was almost white, the left dark. I’m not sure what its suppose to be all dark or all light, but having one side different than the other, well I don’t think this is a good sign.

Dr. comes back in and says “I think its pneumonia, it looks like pneumonia”. His confidence does not overwhelm me at this moment. He gives me a prescription for antibiotic and sends me home. Total time in ER 3 hrs. Now I think that is a record! Unfortunately, I've had pneumonia before and I just don't feel like this is what I have now. I'm hope resting

Tuesday, March 15, 2005

Am I feeling better yet?

March 15/05- I am still nauseous and basically just not feeling very well on this new medication. My bowel movements are still liquefied frequent and gold in colour. My urine is also a strange yellow colour and the odor has changed. I can’t find any information on if this is normal or not. I certainly don’t feel normal in any respect.

I really am trying not to complain to much about how I am feeling, there is nothing worse than a person whining all the time about their health. I am still taking the prednisone, and my face is changing shape. At first I thought it was just my foggy eyes looking at an unfamiliar face in the mirror. But its not, it really is me. Well the voice sounds like me. lol
I don't like the changes and even though I don't have any appetite I look bloated all over. I am gaining weight. Oh lord, just what I need!

March 22/05 – I looked up Methotrexate on the net today what a chore that was. Just trying to sit and type with these fingers that just don't want to move as fast as I want them to! I think I have been transformed into an 80 yr old woman in three short months. Anyway I found that Ibuprofen shouldn’t be taken at the same time as this drug. I am taking eight pills a day! Why would the Dr. not tell me this? Is this why I am feeling so bad since I started taking this drug?

I have decided to stop taking the Ibuprofen and just take the acetaminophen and see if that makes a difference after my dose of Methotrexate on Saturday. I don’t like the idea of not taking the Ibuprofen because I don’t find that acetaminophen cuts through the pain at all with me, but I don’t find I have any choice at this point. I have to find a way to take Methotrexate and be able to function during the day at the same time.

I have a life to lead, I have a 5yr old child to look after. Luckily he is old enough to be a little help to me... but I am the adult, I have to be the one to make sure his needs are being met, and that means I don't have time to be wallowing in my self pity!