Wednesday, December 06, 2006

My Ultrasound

I have been having some left side pelvic pain, to make a long story short...ha ha, the Dr. sent me for an ultrasound. Now I didn't' have the privilege of having one when I was pregnant with either of my kids, so I missed all the fun of seeing the baby form and all that. This though,was not fun...

I normally drink water to help flush the crap out of the meds I take so they don't mess with my kidneys to awfully bad... when they phoned from the hospital yesterday to say they had an opening at 1:30 and could I come in for an ultrasound,,, they told me to drink water, 6,, 8oz glasses I think she said. So I'm thinking no big deal I will just drink a 500ml bottle around 12:30 and take another 500ml bottle with me to drink as I drive and another in my purse for while I sit and wait to go in.

What was I thinking??? lol Well to be honest, since I seem to pee every 15 minutes I figured that what I drank, must just go straight to my bladder. WRONG! lol The technician calls me in, a guy.... tells me to drop my jeans to my knees and hop up on the table. 
So up I climb onto the table, hike my panties (yes they were clean) ...down to my pelvic bone. He squirts some warm gooey stuff on me and grabs this wand thing and rubs it across my full bladder. Hmmm, he said..."did you drink all the water you were suppose to".
"Yes, I drank 3- 500ml bottles since 12:30" I exclaim
"Does your bladder feel full" he asked
"My bladder always feels full" I replied...
"Well you only have about 84ml in your bladder" he snorts back at me..
"What, your not serious" I whinned....
"Yeah, your going to have to go to the waiting room and drink 3-4 more glasses of water" he stated mater of factly.
He handed me a towel to wipe the goo off, I pulled my pants up and headed back to the waiting room.
"Do you need a glass?" he asked
"No, I still have a bottle with me I can refill" I stated
"I just hope I don't have to sneeze", I said laughing all the way to the waiting room. He didn't laugh..

I think its a fact of life that after a certain age, a womans bladder just goes to hell in a hand basket. I can't sneeze or cough without crossing my legs and squeezing my butt cheeks together so I don't pee my pants...thats on a good day.. That maneuver is really hard to do when your driving the car, by the way... kind of like trying to keep your eyes open while you sneeze.. impossible! (Have you ever noticed that that always happens when your driving across the bridge...LOL)

So anyways, I'm back in the waiting room sucking down another bottle of water, this time tap water.. which is sooooo gross! and another lady who is also sitting sipping on a glass of water looks at me and smiles.
"Your bladder not full enough either?", she asked
"Well, that seems to be a matter of opinion", I replied laughing... she nodded her head knowingly.

A half hour later, they call my name again. This time a get a woman tech. The same routine with the drop the pants, but it didn't have the same effect as when the guy tech said it to
More goo, more pushing on my bladder, but this time she is taking pictures. I am watching on the screen, but the blurry grey and white pictures mean nothing to me... I don't see anything that looks like an organ of any kind. JJ strikes up a conversation with the tech about how dark it is in the room, and then in the same breath tells her about the new "power rangers" movie he got for xmas.
"I've watched it every nite" he exclaims
"Do you like it" she asks him
"oh, yeah its so awesome" he says
"theres one part where the girl power ranger kicks a bad guy right in his "pee pee", he said
I burst into laughter at this point... the tech does too and stops trying to take pictures till my stomach stops
"maybe I should be watching this movie too" I said
"hmmm," the tech replied.. "you would just assume it would be ok for a kid to watch wouldn't you?"
As JJ continues to tell us the rest of the movie....
I must say he does keep a room amused.

All done, and I rush for the bathroom, awh.... relief... but only temporary,, the other 1000 ml of water isn't far behind. We bundle up and step out into the cold wind and head for the car. I can feel my bladder filling up as I lock JJ into his booster seat. Maybe it was the fact that my ass was stuck out in the -18 cold air as I was bent over him searching for the seat

I have to drive to Oromocto to feed and check on B's cat.... 110kph isn't fast enough when you have to pee...
I unlocked her door and was unbuckling my pants as I ran for her bathroom...LOL I think JJ thought I had completely lost my mind by this point.
I feed the cat and try to coax it out from under the sofa, with no luck so I decided to head for home. I just got about by the "Big Potato" store when it struck again...fullness and pain in my bladder, and I wasn't even half way home!!
Of course I got stuck behind every senior out for a drive....I did manage to pass one and just swear at the other two all the way to the lights at Union and St. Marys streets.... Crips!
It was clear sailing from there to home, the longest 13min in my
I parked in our drive way and ran for the bathroom, calling out to JJ to close the car door behind him....

It was 5pm before I rid myself of all the water, with frequent trips of every 15 minutes to the bathroom.... you figure it out... thats alot of
Now I'm glad I didn't' have to go for an ultrasound when I was pregnant,,especially when I was pregnant with S. She had her foot or something pressed on my bladder for the last 3 months of my pregnancy...
I can't imagine doing that with a bladder full of water too!

So cheers everyone.... have a drink of water for me tomorrow will you, I'm taking the day off to dry

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