Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Why you should look in your rear view mirror...once in a while at least...lol

After my niece V told me her story about her run in with one of Fredericton's finest and then her trip to SNB I thought I would share my ticket story so you could all have a laugh...some of you have heard this before, so you don't have to read it.

I lived in Vancouver from 1975-1981, and I got my drivers licence in 1977 at the ripe old age of 20. The first two years out in Vancouver I relied on the cable cars or my two feet to get around to work etc or hubby when he was sober, or not working..

I bugged him so badly to take me to California, that in 1977 shortly after I got my drivers licence he finally gave in and we took our first trip to the sunny coast if I shared the driving... I mean how hard can it be to drive on 4-8 lane highways?

Going down was uneventful, we had just purchased a 1975 Datsun 280Z which my husband boasted could go from 0-60 in 7 seconds .... and it could,LOL I had a very heavy foot and being young and stupid (yeah, I admit it) I drove at full tilt when ever I got behind the wheel. Now maybe it was because I liked to race, or the fact that I had just learned how to drive, but hubby was a bit nervous with me behind the wheel. It was a toss up to him, not drink and have to do most of the driving, or let me drive and sit there and get drunk. Luckily for me the call of a nice cold beer took over and I drove most of the time.

Going down I out drove a BMW who was really pissed that some chick was beating him... I lost him some where in Oregon..LOL I don't remember much of the scenery when I drove,,LOL most of it is just one big blur.. Vacation was ok, hubby spent his time with his lips wrapped around a beer bottle and I spent most of my time on the beach or trying to cool off in our tent. I decided that I was really a west coast girl from the east coast...lol

On our way home, hubby decided that since I got us to California in one piece I could do the drive home as well. He split his time from drinking to pissing in the bottles and chucking them out the car window.... I know ewh!!!

Now you have to picture me back then to get the full grip of my story... I was tiny back then, 115lbs with sun bleached hair and my rather large chest was a pretty good combination..of course my clothes were anything but conservative...LOL I had it and I was going to flaunt it too...

We are on a nice long flat stretch, I mean for hours there had been nothing but one overpass going to some obscure town. Miles of nothing to look at and not much to talk to since hubby was past his 6 beer limit of making any sense...lol

It was hot, the windows were rolled down and the underwear in my short,shorts were riding up my crack (I presume that why the made thongs) and chafing me like crazy. I had on a pink lace up the front crop top halter top and most of the laces were undone to let a little breeze blow on the girls...LOL

Some where along my travels I had picked up a police car, probably at the overpass, cause I sure didn't see him sitting along the side of the highway anywheres...LOL I would of have noticed that!!

I didn't see him behind me, at all,,, nope not one bit, what I did see was a small airplane that was coming straight for me up parallel with the highway and doing this little wiggle thing, tipping from side to side. I slapped my husbands arm and said something like "what is this idiot doing"...lol and he snapped out of his 8 beer snooze, almost spilling the open one he had in his hand resting between his thighs. Even as drunk as he was, hubby looks in the side mirror and says "how long has the cop been behind us with his lights on?",, to which I was introduced to the "rear view mirror" and said "What cop?" LOLPMP

My next words were a jumble of "what do I do's" and hubby swearing and trying to hide his open beer as he hollered "slow down and pull over you idiot!!" (of course I cleaned that sentence up a bit for publication) LOL

I started down shifting and slowing and pulled over to the side of the highway as the airplane made one last pass and wagged his wings at me again! The police car pulled in behind us as I sat there shaking and almost in tears.

The officer came up to my window, peeked in and saw hubby, looked in the tiny back seat and saw all our luggage and then tipped back his hat.

His first words were "do you have any idea how long I have been trying to catch up with you?
"No sir", I replied hoping that if I was polite it would work in my favour at this point.
"I have been behind you for 5 miles, do you not look in your rear view mirror?" he asked, at this point looking down my open laced halter top.
"Actually my husband just asked me the same question" I replied with a nervous laugh.

He then got down to the personal questions, like where we were from, where were we going and did I know what the speed limit was in the state of California? LOL
I took this opportunity to ask if airplanes always flew that low in California, to which he laughed and said "I called him in to get your attention and stop you"... I could feel my face getting red.

He asked me for my licence and registration and walked back to his car shaking his head at my stupidity...LOL

He came back with my paper work, announced that I was doing 105mph and the added offense of "evading police" which would be a fine of $200.00 and would have to be paid before I would ever be allowed to cross back into the US of A !

I think I said "oh shit" or something along those line, and noticed that the whole time he is standing next to my window, he hasn't taken his eyes off my boobs! I decide to play this up and turned a little more towards him, shifting in my seat which gave him an even better view of the girls. With our chatter about just buying the car, and my newly acquired drivers licence it seemed to break the ice. He starts writing out the ticket as I continue to chatter away.

He hand me the ticket, wishes us a safe and "slower" trip home and walks back to his car. I glance at the ticket, he's made it out for a speeding offense only for $150.00 Now who says boobs aren't an asset? Oh, and the moral of the day is.... don't forget to watch out for low flying airplanes.....LOL

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