Sunday, April 26, 2009

MRI results

I got a phone call Friday morning from my family Dr's office. The receptionist wanted to know who was following up with me on the results of the MRI, them or my Rheumatologist? I told her I wasn't sure... she said she would phone my Rheumatologists office and ask them. I hung up the phone knowing that something must of showed up..right.. or why would the Dr.'s office call..?

Late Friday, the Rheumatologists office called, the Dr. himself actually. He said they had the results, I had a herniated lumbar disc in my back. He wanted to know if he was handling this problem or my family Dr.? I told him I thought he had referred me to the neurologist for the MRI, he says no... I said well the neurologist office called and gave me an appointment, then after that the hospital called and set up the MRI appointment. He was baffled, and at this point I was too.

Then he asked if I was in enough pain for him to call his favorite back surgeon in Saint John and make an appointment for him to see me? I said "no, having surgery right now just doesn't fit in with my life plan".  He laughed, asked again what my pain level was. I told him I had this pain for 30 yrs, that I knew what I could and couldn't do, and if I did too much in one day then I was in pain, but that I was "use to it".   Of course Dr's don't like to hear you say "your use to it", they like to fix things if they can... so he asked if I was sure I didn't want a referral... maybe go to physio at least? I thanked him, but told him no, not now, if it gets to where I can't handle it, then I will take him up on his offer.

You may think I'm being silly, but I was happy to hear the diagnosis. Not that it was this serious, but the fact that I now know why I have had this back pain, why my left leg has been totally numb every day for years. Its so numb that they can't get it to do the reflex thing when they tap it with the little rubber hammer thingy... to me this was good news, I now know why!

Over all these years, I have learned what I can and can't do. I can make the bed as long as it doesn't take more than 5 minutes because being leaned over in that position causes pain. I can mop the floor, vacuum, sweep as long as I do it fast,(ten minutes top) don't twist too much or I will have shooting pain that starts in my lower back and then run down my leg. I can't crouch down more than one or two times to do stuff like clean the baseboards, or to paint ..or I am in pain. Bending down to clean the cats or the dogs litter boxes is difficult, putting dishes in the dishwasher, standing at the sink to wash the pots... its all hard to do, but it gets done... after all if I don't do it, who the heck is going to?

We all do things we "have" to do whether we feel like we can, or we can't.... its our nature. I find that since I have been diagnosed with Lupus, I want to do this stuff just so I keep telling my body "yes you can and you will"! Its a control thing. I don't want Lupus to control everything about my life. It tries to beleive me... but I want to still have some control over my life...after all, that's my personality. Its who I am, before and it will be after this Lupus decided to try to take over my life.

I know I should be doing something for the back, but I can't do physio again. I did it for 7 months when I had my big Lupus flair and couldn't move. It did help, but having to drag JJ along and trying to keep him busy while they work on me is a nightmare. Surgery is totally out of the question because we are trying to sell the house. We do open houses every Sunday, that means keeping the house cleaner than I normally would every day of the week so it only takes 3 hours to super clean up before the open house instead of 6 hours. It also means who would look after JJ, get him ready for school and take him to the bus every day if I'm in the hospital. It means weeks of recovery, and trying to keep me from doing things when I got home so it wouldn't "undo" what was done in surgery...Nope, just not possible. Right now, I'm irreplaceable. Now if you could clone me, that would be fine. If my clone just stepped in and took over, yep...I would consider it.

Then there is the issue of the warfarin, and not being able to go off it or I would get another blood clot because of the Hughes syndrome... how do you operate on someone on warfarin and not have them bleed to death? I'm not even suppose to have dental work done (which I desperately need) because of that. Then there is the problem with the pleurisy in my right lung. How would going under anesthesia affect that problem? See having Lupus and all the wonderful physical problems is so much fun... of course I'm being sarcastic.... If I didn't have Lupus life would be simpler, but it wouldn't be half as

No comments: