Monday, February 14, 2005


Feb 14th &15/05 –Well Dr. H says that its conclusive that I have Lupus. I sat there stunned and aprehensive about what my life will be like in the future. With all my symptoms, the blood work, the xrays, the CT scan.... well it has a name now. Its no longer a monster. Its name is Lupus.

I try to focus on what he is telling us. N looks as worried as I do. The Dr. hands me a book to read called "Lupus: the disease with a thousand faces". He gives us a run down on what the treatment will be for now. More prednisone for the time being, and a drug called methotrexate will be added soon. I still have to continue to take the ibuprofen and Tylonol. I know I will be calling T and asking her to look up methotrexate on the internet for me.

Dr. H is worried about the shortness of breath so he is admitting me to the hospital, I have to go home and pack a bag. N has been a godsend, picking up the pieces and doing things around the house. He doesn’t complain, but I know he must be tired and stressed out. He works all day and then comes home and has to get a meal ready  and now he will have to come into the hospital and visit with me. How is this affecting him? Would he tell me if it was getting to be too much for him to handle?

The lung tests show that I can breath in ok, but that my breathing out is not what it should be. The xray doesn’t show anything conclusive, maybe a slight amount of damage from the Lupus or past years of smoking, but they aren’t sure on that either. They also did some heart tests so they have something to compare to in case the Lupus starts to attack those organs in the future. What a thought, having your organs shut down or fail.

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