Saturday, August 20, 2005

Death comes knocking

Aug 20/05

I haven't written in a few days. Mom has given up it seems, and she was moved to Palliative care. She won't take her medication, she wouldn't eat, she just closed her eyes and stopped interacting with everyone. Was she trying to prove she was right, that once she got to palliative she would die?

It was hard to go in and spend hours at a time, sitting by her bed, looking at the woman who gave birth to me, lie there. She didn't interact anymore. Questions, not answered by her because she no longer talked. Did she want to give up? Did she really not want to live any more? Was she content with the time she had spent with us here? Did she want to go see Dad now?

Her family surrounding her bed, friends there to lend support and love, but she slipped away from us. She is up there with Dad, I know he was there waiting for her, he always said he would "keep his foot in the door for her"... He took her hand, they kissed, and then Dad took her to go visit with everyone waiting on the other side. Its awful to have to let her go, but I know she was happy to see Ron, Dad and Nanna again...she had a lot to catch them up on. But I miss her.

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