Dealing with bed time is a nightmare. Every single night since the day he was born.
Just getting JJ to go to bed, lay down, relax.. its a big deal. The first problem is the time he goes to bed. He wants it to be 9pm on week nights and 10 on weekends. We have fought for years about time, we always win, but the fighting is stressful.
This past year I came up with the idea of changing all the clocks in the house back an hour. I did this because if I say its bed time and the clock says 9pm its really only 8pm and then he can get a half decent nights sleep. Its worked pretty well so far, except when he asks me what time it is and I look at my watch.. then I forget and tell him the real time. UGH!
The good news is he has no real concept of time, so half hour later I can correct myself and he doesn't argue with me.
Of course anyone who came into the house when I first did the "clock change" I had to whisper and tell them not to pay attention to the time on our clocks..lol
I mentioned to the dr. the last time I had JJ in, that getting him to settle down at night was a horrible experience. He suggested that we purchase some melatonin at our health food store. Its a natural substance found in the brain normally but in children with ASD its found that they have lower than normal amounts of melatonin. Its a 3mg pill that he could swallow or let it melt in his mouth with no taste to put him off.
I have to say, I have fought not to have JJ on any meds. Sometimes you just have to listen to the experts. It has made a big difference for us and for JJ. That tiny little pill has brought nightmare bed time to a much more deal-able level. It lets his hyper mind calm down and about 30 minutes after he takes it, he is ready to go to sleep. Less arguing, fighting and meltdowns.
Sometimes it has to be used for a long period of time, sometimes the melatonin can just help regulate sleep time and can be stopped after 6mths. I am hoping the later works, but for now he is getting the rest he and his brain needs to function in school and deal with life in general.
Thursday, September 30, 2010
And so it starts
I know what I'm in for.
JJ's been sick for the past 3 weeks, he got sick the third day of school actually and it hasn't let up since. Can you imagine, only back to school 3 days and he gets sick. Don't they disinfect the desks over the summer holidays? Last school year he was sick constantly, seemed like he would just get over one cold or virus and bam he gets hit with another one. Of course he would spread it on to me, and since my immune system is already compromised I would get three times sicker than the average person. I really hope that this year we aren't sick all school year again!
Now I'm going to go have a nice cup of Oolong tea and cuddle up in a blanket.
Friday, September 24, 2010
What a way to start the day.
I was so mistaken when I thought today was going to be a good day.. JJ got up early, got dressed without me telling him to and was looking for breakfast by the time I got up at 6:45am. I thought, well this is a nice start to the day for a change.. I was wrong though.
After cooking him his favorite , an english muffin with cheese and egg, he then got so defiant with me and didn't want to go brush his teeth and hair. So once again the morning struggle was on! The incisive talking back, not wanting to do what he is told, getting so angry and then hitting things, or slamming doors or saying "I hate you" it just wears me down. When I pushed him to go do it, he says "I'm going to call social services on you" ! Like where does that come from. He is only 9 what does he know about social services? Do 9yr olds talk about this stuff at school? I tell him that social services won't help him, he is disobeying a parent and has to do as he is told... it gets me no where, but its the same conversation every time a zillion times a day. Since Asperger kids can have other disorders like OCD, ADD, ADHD, I have been doing a lot of internet searching and personally I think he has whats called "oppositional difiant disorder". Here is a list of characteristic behaviors seen in Oppositional Defiant Disorder children. They include:
•Getting angry easily
•Arguing and talking back to adults
•Defying reasonable requests
•Bucking rules
•Intentionally bothering people
•Pushing their limits
•Not taking responsibility for their mistakes or misbehavior
•Getting easily annoyed
•Getting angry easily
•Being resentful, spiteful, or vindictive.
•Speaking harshly
•Being brutally unkind when upset
•Seeking revenge
•Having frequent temper tantrums
Parents of ODD children usually describe their children as being rigid and demanding, even from an early age.
I have to tell you that having Aspergers is quite enough but JJ has every single one of these symptoms since he was just a toddler. Believe me when I say it is so hard to deal with day in and day out. I can honestly say that there has never,ever been one day where things have gone smoothly. NOT ONE!! Every time he talks back and refuses to do something, I be consistant (which we were told would work) and I take something away that he likes, like his lego stuff, his DS, or time on the computer playing games. But nothing works, he still doesn't change. I have been battling this for 7 yrs, seven long, long years... and then you top off those actions with lack of eye contact, not being able to read my facial expressions, getting stressed out easily and repeating things over and over and then having meltdowns... oh my....
I called his dr. yesterday to follow up on a referral he was going to make for JJ in regards to his bowel problems and which I still hadn't gotten a call about another appointment... I was told there was a two yr waiting list... two years!!!! He will be 11 by then and I will probably have major problems by then!! What kind of help is that??? Seriously.... why does this city only have one developmental psychologist? I am so down in the dumps..
After cooking him his favorite , an english muffin with cheese and egg, he then got so defiant with me and didn't want to go brush his teeth and hair. So once again the morning struggle was on! The incisive talking back, not wanting to do what he is told, getting so angry and then hitting things, or slamming doors or saying "I hate you" it just wears me down. When I pushed him to go do it, he says "I'm going to call social services on you" ! Like where does that come from. He is only 9 what does he know about social services? Do 9yr olds talk about this stuff at school? I tell him that social services won't help him, he is disobeying a parent and has to do as he is told... it gets me no where, but its the same conversation every time a zillion times a day. Since Asperger kids can have other disorders like OCD, ADD, ADHD, I have been doing a lot of internet searching and personally I think he has whats called "oppositional difiant disorder". Here is a list of characteristic behaviors seen in Oppositional Defiant Disorder children. They include:
•Getting angry easily
•Arguing and talking back to adults
•Defying reasonable requests
•Bucking rules
•Intentionally bothering people
•Pushing their limits
•Not taking responsibility for their mistakes or misbehavior
•Getting easily annoyed
•Getting angry easily
•Being resentful, spiteful, or vindictive.
•Speaking harshly
•Being brutally unkind when upset
•Seeking revenge
•Having frequent temper tantrums
Parents of ODD children usually describe their children as being rigid and demanding, even from an early age.
I have to tell you that having Aspergers is quite enough but JJ has every single one of these symptoms since he was just a toddler. Believe me when I say it is so hard to deal with day in and day out. I can honestly say that there has never,ever been one day where things have gone smoothly. NOT ONE!! Every time he talks back and refuses to do something, I be consistant (which we were told would work) and I take something away that he likes, like his lego stuff, his DS, or time on the computer playing games. But nothing works, he still doesn't change. I have been battling this for 7 yrs, seven long, long years... and then you top off those actions with lack of eye contact, not being able to read my facial expressions, getting stressed out easily and repeating things over and over and then having meltdowns... oh my....
I called his dr. yesterday to follow up on a referral he was going to make for JJ in regards to his bowel problems and which I still hadn't gotten a call about another appointment... I was told there was a two yr waiting list... two years!!!! He will be 11 by then and I will probably have major problems by then!! What kind of help is that??? Seriously.... why does this city only have one developmental psychologist? I am so down in the dumps..
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
You really can't fix stupid
I have discovered that you really can't fix stupid.. when we moved in June, we disconnected our services at our old house,and had them all reconnected at the new house.. Bell Satellite called yesterday to ask what our address was."what address did you send the bill to I asked", "to McNeil Rd" he replied. Well thats why it was returned I said, we moved". "Where did you move to he asked", I laughed out loud.. "what address do you have for our service" I asked.. .He reads it off to me....."Well thats were we live!" I exclaimed "mail the bill to us there!". But you didn't call us and put in a "change of address" he says all serious like.. "Your kidding right? I asked.. "no he replied, you must call and change your address".. Idiots,,, To top it off, I actually had to call another number and talk to someone else because "he couldn't change the address" he was only calling to find out if we were still in NB. I so want his job! lol
Worse part is, NB Power called today... yup you guessed it... they want to know where to mail our bill to!
At least the woman who called from NB Power changed the address while we were on the phone but she still didn't get my point that if we disconnected and then reconnected, the new reconnect should be where they mail the bill.... I am still shaking my head.. how do these people get these jobs?
Monday, August 16, 2010
What a year
What a year!! JJ finished gr.3 with flying colours and is going into gr. 4 in September. And it will be a new school.. that's right we sold the house! Can you believe it... well sometimes I can't.
We had it listed again since Feb with real estate but no bites, quite a few showing, but the waterfront scared people off. There is no way to convince people we had no flooding problems unless they came during flood season.. and they just didn't. We decided to take it off MLS and sell it ourselves, that way we could lower the price to counter the fact we didn't have to pay a commission. We took it off on a Thursday, put up signs at the end of the road and in front of the house. Saturday we went to town and when we arrived home there were two vehicles in the door yard. A couple of guys wanted to see the house, so we showed them through. They loved the house, and said they wanted to buy it.. we had hear that before, last year when we tried to sell ourselves, but the couple couldn't get financing..so we didn't' put much stock in these two guys. Sunday they came back again to go through it more closely, Monday they called with an offer and came out later that night to sign a purchase of sale agreement. We were so happy!! But they needed financing... the waiting game was on.
Of course now we had to find a house to buy. I emailed a list of houses to view to our old agent, she called back to say that of the 22 houses I had on the list there was only 4 left to look at. We viewed them that week and narrowed it down to two houses, one on the north side, one on the south. I wanted the south side where we would be close to everything and the neighbourhoods were better. N wanted the north side because he thought the taxes etc, would be cheaper and he liked the north side. I just couldn't see him battling the bridge traffic and having to leave so early just to get to work, when the house on the south side would only take 5 minutes for him to get to work. It would be 2 minutes to the hospital for me, and the elementary school was only 10 houses away.
To top it all off, before all this house stuff happened, we had planned a trip to NS to visit N's mom that weekend so we had to make a decision and fast. We made an offer on Friday, left for NS and finished the back and forth offers while we were there. We got the house on the south side with enough money left over from the sale of our house to be able to do the necessary reno's that the new house needed. And they are extensive. We got the house 40 thousand below the average house in the area, and are redoing the windows, complete bathroom redo..top to bottom, kitchen cupboards and counter tops, flooring and lots of painting. We are also putting in a patio door in the dining room where the window is now, and a deck off of it.
The wait for financing for the guys buying our home was nail biting to say the least. It came down to the hour before the offer was to expire and they got a call from their mortgage broker saying the financing went through! We got the home inspection done for the house we were buying and it was really good, structure and bones of the house was fine. We were moving!!
The move went well, we hired a company to move us. I had done all the packing except for the baby barn stuff and to tell the truth I was worn out and my joints were killing me. I had everything packed in two weeks, too soon but I didn't' know how long it would take me to do all alone. We lived surrounded by boxes with only dishes and pots and pans, towels etc left out to pack on the day of the move. Six hours later on the day of the move and we were in our new house, once again surrounded by boxes. Of course I had the kitchen and bath room stuff all unpacked within an hour or so.. the two major rooms. We hired a contractor to come in and demo out the bath room a couple weeks after we moved in. The walls around the shower showed no wood rot at all which was surprising since it had broken tiles and a window in the middle of the shower area. Why do builders put windows there???? Any ways, with the bathroom down to the studs, the window area was insulated and borded up and a new three piece tub surround was installed . New flooring, wainscotting on the walls, sink and flush installed and voila a brand new bathroom. I had to paint everything, cause the contractor "doesn't do painting"... and I hate painting.. but after a couple of coats on everything, it was done and looked very nice!
The next room was the living room. It had an end wall that was panneling... I know so 80's eh.. but six coats later and it is done and brightened up the whole room. A week later and the contractor was back to do the windows..all of them. They look so nice! Last weekend we took advantage of the warm day and painted the outside of the house. A nice fresh coat of white and "tomato red" on the basement and end gables of the house. Talk about making a big difference. We are settled in, but there are a lot of boxes I can't unpack because we are missing the "nic nack" space for things. At the old house we had like 12 feet of book cases that was used for pictures and stuff. We have decided that we will have to install bookcases on that end wall next to the fireplace so we can have space for all our pictures and little nic nack stuff.
N is suppose to start the kitchen demo next weekend, that will be a messy pain in the butt, even though it will look spectactular when its done. Then it will be more painting for me, the walls in the kitchen a neutral light colour and one wall by the table for accent, a creamy light brown to go with the new counter tops. I will be happy when its all done. Down the road we will be finishing a couple rooms in the basement, like a bedroom for JJ since he wants one down there for when he is older and goes to college,, and a family room. All in time I guess.
We had it listed again since Feb with real estate but no bites, quite a few showing, but the waterfront scared people off. There is no way to convince people we had no flooding problems unless they came during flood season.. and they just didn't. We decided to take it off MLS and sell it ourselves, that way we could lower the price to counter the fact we didn't have to pay a commission. We took it off on a Thursday, put up signs at the end of the road and in front of the house. Saturday we went to town and when we arrived home there were two vehicles in the door yard. A couple of guys wanted to see the house, so we showed them through. They loved the house, and said they wanted to buy it.. we had hear that before, last year when we tried to sell ourselves, but the couple couldn't get financing..so we didn't' put much stock in these two guys. Sunday they came back again to go through it more closely, Monday they called with an offer and came out later that night to sign a purchase of sale agreement. We were so happy!! But they needed financing... the waiting game was on.
Of course now we had to find a house to buy. I emailed a list of houses to view to our old agent, she called back to say that of the 22 houses I had on the list there was only 4 left to look at. We viewed them that week and narrowed it down to two houses, one on the north side, one on the south. I wanted the south side where we would be close to everything and the neighbourhoods were better. N wanted the north side because he thought the taxes etc, would be cheaper and he liked the north side. I just couldn't see him battling the bridge traffic and having to leave so early just to get to work, when the house on the south side would only take 5 minutes for him to get to work. It would be 2 minutes to the hospital for me, and the elementary school was only 10 houses away.
To top it all off, before all this house stuff happened, we had planned a trip to NS to visit N's mom that weekend so we had to make a decision and fast. We made an offer on Friday, left for NS and finished the back and forth offers while we were there. We got the house on the south side with enough money left over from the sale of our house to be able to do the necessary reno's that the new house needed. And they are extensive. We got the house 40 thousand below the average house in the area, and are redoing the windows, complete bathroom redo..top to bottom, kitchen cupboards and counter tops, flooring and lots of painting. We are also putting in a patio door in the dining room where the window is now, and a deck off of it.
The wait for financing for the guys buying our home was nail biting to say the least. It came down to the hour before the offer was to expire and they got a call from their mortgage broker saying the financing went through! We got the home inspection done for the house we were buying and it was really good, structure and bones of the house was fine. We were moving!!
The move went well, we hired a company to move us. I had done all the packing except for the baby barn stuff and to tell the truth I was worn out and my joints were killing me. I had everything packed in two weeks, too soon but I didn't' know how long it would take me to do all alone. We lived surrounded by boxes with only dishes and pots and pans, towels etc left out to pack on the day of the move. Six hours later on the day of the move and we were in our new house, once again surrounded by boxes. Of course I had the kitchen and bath room stuff all unpacked within an hour or so.. the two major rooms. We hired a contractor to come in and demo out the bath room a couple weeks after we moved in. The walls around the shower showed no wood rot at all which was surprising since it had broken tiles and a window in the middle of the shower area. Why do builders put windows there???? Any ways, with the bathroom down to the studs, the window area was insulated and borded up and a new three piece tub surround was installed . New flooring, wainscotting on the walls, sink and flush installed and voila a brand new bathroom. I had to paint everything, cause the contractor "doesn't do painting"... and I hate painting.. but after a couple of coats on everything, it was done and looked very nice!
The next room was the living room. It had an end wall that was panneling... I know so 80's eh.. but six coats later and it is done and brightened up the whole room. A week later and the contractor was back to do the windows..all of them. They look so nice! Last weekend we took advantage of the warm day and painted the outside of the house. A nice fresh coat of white and "tomato red" on the basement and end gables of the house. Talk about making a big difference. We are settled in, but there are a lot of boxes I can't unpack because we are missing the "nic nack" space for things. At the old house we had like 12 feet of book cases that was used for pictures and stuff. We have decided that we will have to install bookcases on that end wall next to the fireplace so we can have space for all our pictures and little nic nack stuff.
N is suppose to start the kitchen demo next weekend, that will be a messy pain in the butt, even though it will look spectactular when its done. Then it will be more painting for me, the walls in the kitchen a neutral light colour and one wall by the table for accent, a creamy light brown to go with the new counter tops. I will be happy when its all done. Down the road we will be finishing a couple rooms in the basement, like a bedroom for JJ since he wants one down there for when he is older and goes to college,, and a family room. All in time I guess.
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